Career or Pans? How to compensate for a child's lack of attention?
Having a baby puts every mother with a choice: to become a housewife or to pursue her career. Often, those mothers who have chosen themselves or are forced to work for reasons of life feel guilty that they do not devote enough time and attention to their own child …
In this new era of women's rights, we have come to a point
where everyone must recognize the need
to make difficult choices.
(E. LeShan. When your child drives you crazy)
Having a baby puts every mother with a choice: to become a housewife or to pursue her career. Often, those mothers who have chosen themselves or are forced to work for reasons of life feel guilty for not giving enough time and attention to their own child. How harmful is mother's workload for the child's development?
The child has fears, stole a change from the wallet, lied, rude, beats other children - the mother is to blame: she did not like it, overlooked it, disappeared at work. Agree, this generally accepted diagnosis is not always correct. Don't moms who stay at home with children have similar situations? Agree - it happens.
Do not all mothers who stay at home devote enough time to their children, and do not constantly clean the house, hang out on the Internet, do other things besides raising children? I hint that there is no guarantee that the child will be happy, surrounded by full attention, if the mother is at home.
Another thing is important: what kind of mother is she, in what condition she is and what she knows about the correct upbringing of children, whether she can give each child what he really needs.
We disassemble brick by brick
The first thing to note is that not all working mothers feel guilty. And it's not about where and how much mom works, how much she earns at the same time, it's about the peculiarities of the mother's psyche. The notions of duty, guilt are key for moms with an anal vector. Their life values lie in the plane of the family, children. Other mothers do not experience similar remorse, since they are initially focused on fulfilling a different role in society, live by different values.
So, for example, the skin-visual mother, the actress, without much hesitation, leaves the baby in the care of other people, continues to act in films, explaining this to the public by the production necessity, that it is necessary to forge iron while it is hot, that the child will be happy only when his mother is happy and she can't be happy without filming. There are a lot of explanations if we need to justify ourselves. In fact, the skin-visual woman is inherently "anti-woman" and has no natural maternal instinct at all.
The second thing that should be paid attention to: children are born with different mental properties and need their correct development. Accordingly, the determining factor in the harmonious development of the baby is not whether the mother is working or not, not what kind of child is in the account, but whether the parents understand what kind of baggage the child was born with.
We know the vector set of a child - we know how to educate him so that he grows up as a happy and healthy person.
Systemic knowledge shows us the true picture of what is happening: it is quite normal for a visual child to experience fears, for an oral one - to swear, for a dermal one - to steal. These are manifestations of the basic properties of their vectors; in such cases, parents need not panic and grab the belt, but develop the child's vectors so that he does not remain at a low level of development. That is: if it is normal for a small skinner to hide candy or someone else's toy (this is how the archetypal feature of the skin vector is manifested to collect everything that lies badly, to make supplies for the future), then for a teenager with a skin vector, stealing is an indicator of stress.
In addition, it would be good to understand the general laws of the formation of a person's personality, since our ignorance grows a feeling of guilt before the child: we see that something in his development is going wrong, and we begin to blame ourselves. The crisis of three years, the teenage crisis … - everyone goes through these stages of growing up, but how - it depends on us. For example, at an early age, a child needs to create a sense of security, after 3 years, the child needs to be actively socialized into society, preparing the ground for self-reliance in adolescence.
So, you do not have to compensate for the attention of the child because of your work, if you initially know what kind of child you gave birth to, what features it has, how to satisfy its internal needs. The feeling of guilt is not the best feeling in life, and you can get rid of it by filling in the gaps in knowing yourself and your child.