Resentment against men, or All men - to …
Someone was cheated, others were not reciprocated, others were used. Bad experience leaves deep wounds, reminds of oneself at the most inopportune moment, haunts. Deeply and uncompromisingly settles at the bottom of our soul. Negative attitudes make life unbearable …
"All men are goats, womanizers, deceivers, traitors!" Unfortunately, we often hear such phrases from the fair sex. If you ask them why they think so, they will give such examples from their life or the experience of acquaintances that they can be understood.
Someone was cheated, others were not reciprocated, others were used. Bad experience leaves deep wounds, reminds of oneself at the most inopportune moment, haunts. Deeply and uncompromisingly settles at the bottom of our soul. Negative attitudes make life unbearable.
It is increasingly difficult to decide to start a new relationship, since you no longer expect anything good from them. There are so many small and large grievances against men inside, because of which life seems to stop moving. Memory scrolls through situations from the past, when care, loyalty and dedication remained invaluable, when attention was not given.
Numerous, even small, deceptions lead to the fact that it seems impossible to treat men with an open heart, to trust them. If you look around, it is impossible not to notice how depreciated family values, and how many men are cheating on women. How can one count otherwise?
It is difficult to live carrying heavy stones of resentment with you, but it is even more difficult to trust someone, because there is a fear of getting even more disappointed. Grievances are imprinted in the soul so deeply that they are not even always realized. Only the thought that nothing good can be expected from men signals an internal catastrophe. Of course, such thoughts remain on the face, a mask of discontent and reproach. Over time, not only men, but the whole world around it seems hostile and unfair.
Can this condition be dealt with? How to let go of all your grievances and avoid new ones?
Why do women resent men
First you need to figure out how resentments arise, and why not everyone is inclined to be offended. First of all, resentment arises as a result of our unjustified expectations. Offended, we say: "I did so much to him, and he answered me that!" And it seems that we are fair and objective in our judgments. After all, it is dishonest when, in response to actions that are good from our point of view, we get indifference or unseemly actions (again, in our opinion).
In order to restore psychological comfort, we begin to accuse, reproach, make claims, in every possible way we seek justice from the offender. As a rule, this does not happen, and we are left alone with our grievances. It remains only to throw them out on others, wait for a dirty trick from them, nurture vengeful plans, criticize.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan (SVP) reveals the mechanism of resentment, helping to work out this difficult feeling. According to the SVP, the above-described states and thoughts are characteristic of only one type of women, the owners of the anal vector. Each vector gives a person certain properties that ensure the realization of innate desires.
So, the owners of the anal vector are constant, conservative, always turned to past experience, have a good memory. Justice in their concept is when everything is equal. The prerequisites for touchiness, getting stuck in the negative experience of the past are obvious.
Hostages of straight lines
Their whole psyche conventionally has the shape of a square, where all the edges are perfectly even, not tolerating the slightest distortion. This is reflected in thoughts and actions: everything should be equal, even. Resentment occurs when the balance of subjective justice is disturbed. When, in response to their efforts, they were not given praise, recognition, respect, etc. They expect from another person exactly the same actions, gratitude, and if this does not happen, they feel a feeling of deprivation, an imbalance occurs. The resulting misalignment causes severe discomfort and requires alignment.
At the same time, their expectations from other people are subjective and do not take into account the fact that we are all different, with different values and priorities. For example, women with an anal vector are naturally caring, loyal, honest and constant. Giving away their properties from themselves, they expect a man to accept them with gratitude and respond in kind, as a result there will be a feeling of comfort from such an equal exchange.
But it is given by nature in such a way that anal women are attracted to men with a cutaneous vector, who have contradictory properties: instead of constancy - variability, instead of the value of respect and honesty - benefit-benefit, flexibility and adaptability. It turns out that he does not even understand what is expected of him in general, since he also judges through himself in the same way. He can earn good money and provide for you, but easily forget about your memorable date, he may not thank for something. Insufficiently realized skin men are prone to adultery - this is how their need for novelty seeks to fill it. For them, the family is not a supervalue, but for women with an anal vector it is the holy of holies.
The importance of the first experience
For anal people, there is always a fixation on the first experience, through which they perceive the world. The very first interaction with people we learn in childhood through relationships with parents. It is from there that the first offenses begin, and then the offense can be transferred to other people, entire groups, to the world as a whole or to oneself.
If in childhood mom did not appreciate the obedience of children with an anal vector, hurried, not realizing that for them haste is stress, did not allow them to finish what they had begun, did not praise for good deeds, then even then their inner square of the psyche was warped, creating a precondition for states of resentment.
From resentment to understanding and acceptance
When we carry an oppressive burden of grievances in ourselves, we seem to give them the power of our whole life. We become unable to make reasonable decisions, we see people distorted, as in a distorted mirror. Resentment slows down our life, does not allow us to develop and gain good experience. We cease to feel gratitude, since we perceive any benefits given to us not as something good, but as a natural compensation for what we were not given.
Our whole life is subject to the alignment of the inner psychic square with the help of claims, reproaches and criticism. When we realize that the reason for our discomfort is not that the people around are bad, when we understand the real reason for our perception, then this insane heaviness leaves the soul. Many people talk about this after meeting the SVP:
When we begin to understand other people, to see the internal motives of their behavior, then we completely forget how to be offended, since we understand what can be expected of them, and what they are not capable of by nature. After all, we can really be very different. To learn more about your characteristics and what drives other people, join Yuri Burlan's free online trainings on systemic vector psychology.
