7 years without orgasm: the cry of an unsatisfied soul
Metallic cold and disgustingly dry, mechanical movements. This is not what I imagined. I have not waited for this for so many months And certainly not about this I once read in books, risking being caught "at the crime scene" …
Frigidity
I made this diagnosis to myself when I was 18 years old, when I was desperate to enjoy sex. No, I won't say that there was no pleasure at all. It was somehow, but small, insignificant compared to what is described in the books that my sister and I under the covers as a child with a flashlight whispered.
Well, you understand what happened to me and my body then. From excitement in the lower abdomen, everything was compressed, and goose bumps ran through my skin. Even from the blurry phrases: "He pulled her to him, and she felt something hard buried in her thigh" - one could lose consciousness for a moment. My imagination painted pictures so vividly that almost on a physical level I felt these touches, sharp movements of bodies, rapid breathing and droplets of sweat slipping away.
It seemed that if I experienced it in reality, I would simply choke with passion and pleasure. I thought I knew everything about myself. That a gentle kiss on the lower abdomen would give goose bumps up the body. Light nibbling of my earlobe will make my breath freeze. And from the wet path of kisses, starting from the bottom of the lower back and continuing to the neck, I will just feel hot. But…
Metallic cold and disgustingly dry, mechanical movements. This is not what I imagined. I have not waited for this for so many months And certainly not about this I once read with my sister in books, risking being caught "at the crime scene" by my grandmother.
Everything was repeated over and over again. Dryness, coldness, monotony. And, nevertheless, for some reason it was already impossible without it. As it says there: "It's bad together and unbearable apart"
Partners changed, different poses were tried, hundreds of porn videos were watched to understand - what? What am I doing wrong?
Imagine my surprise when, at a visual lesson on system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, I heard the words: “They are in pain, unpleasant, they do not get any pleasure, but they go for it, they want it. Because they were made for sex, and they feel the satisfaction of the very fact that IT happened. This has been said about women with a combination of cutaneous and visual vectors.
It seemed that a bug was inserted into my head, which transmits all the information to Yuri, and he says it aloud. He pronounced what I felt, but could not name it with a word. The act itself is necessary, but not pleasure. Satisfaction but not enjoyment.
Attempts
There were many of them and they were different. Except that there was no group sex. Sometimes I managed to make interesting finds. So, at some point, I realized that I like pain. But, again, I do not like the pain itself, but the fact of its infliction on me (thanks to dad for raising). Elements of sadism, but not harsh. And that gave me a little more satisfaction.
Then I noticed that the less often THIS happens, the more pleasure I get. Although the word "pleasure" is not entirely appropriate here. Closer is still "satisfaction". Somehow I even started comparing sex with eating. And with regret I imagined that when someone was enjoying delicacies, I had to be content with unleavened porridge. Although … it sometimes seems tasty, though only if you eat it well on a very empty stomach.
***
7 years … 7 years of attempts, disappointments, and still not realized fantasies. No, they were realized, but they did not bring the expected sensations. Sometimes I looked for statistics, research results, which said that only 3% of women have an orgasm, and this is supposedly normal. I put up with it. Therefore, when Yuri Burlan spoke at the introductory lectures that women who had not experienced orgasm for years are beginning to experience it, I didn’t just not believe, I grinned. After all, by that time I knew everything about orgasm, and was 100% sure that my body and psyche were simply not adapted to this.
Firstly, I read that the woman has not yet fully evolved, and therefore we still have to wait several centuries until all women can experience orgasm. And, no matter how unpleasant it may be to admit it, apparently I entered the very undeveloped 97%.
Secondly, childhood traumas … Threats, physical punishment, a constant sense of danger from the father. This is not left in the past, everything leaves its mark, a deep imprint in our subconscious.
I clearly knew why I did not feel pleasure. Fortunately, psychologists and sexopathologists have very skillfully made cause-and-effect relationships. Too many traumas have been inflicted on my childish, fragile psyche. A father who punishes with a belt for every offense. Neighborhood boys, a little older, who always found the moment to take me, a six-year-old child, to an abandoned building, where they could study the structure of a woman's body. Under the hypnosis session, these details surfaced and were named the main reason for the inability to obtain an orgasm. Deep mental trauma is the reason for my frigidity.
The answer to the question "why" was given to me. And it seemed logical. But no one could give an answer to the question of how to fix it. And by the time I was 23, I stopped looking for him altogether. And, you know, I still haven't found it. BUT!
Female frigidity as a result of the incompetence of sex therapists
I meticulously followed the recommendations of sex therapists. There were experiments with entourage, tenderness, and its replacing rudeness, almost cruelty. Role-playing games of a wide variety of genres. But all is in vain. The maximum I got was a little more satisfaction, not pleasure, but satisfaction. A radical turnaround happened a few months ago. It was an explosion. Simultaneous fall down and take off up to the very heavens. Increasing excitement and waves of heat running all over the body and reaching the tips of the fingers and hair roots. The breath was choking, and the whole body trembled for several minutes after that. And this is with me. Not frigid, but incapable of experiencing the highest pleasure, as stated by doctors - sex therapists. And there were several of them.
Meditations, concentration on the sensations of the body, special techniques and exercises to increase libido - all these have been tried and nothing helped. Ask, what was the impetus? - I have no pontius! And, to be honest, I am absolutely not interested in this. All I know is that my thinking has changed, psychological anchors, blocks, as they are sometimes called, have been removed. How did this happen? - And I don’t know. I only know that the training in system-vector psychology gives a unique opportunity to understand oneself, this is a tool that removes the very blocks and anchors. We reveal layer by layer what is hidden from us. What Freud also called the subconscious. We make our way into the very depths of our psychic, turn ourselves inside out and observe what processes are happening in us and why. We begin to understandwhy we react to certain situations in a strictly defined way.
Unlike a session with a psychologist, we do not have to procrastinate the same topic, repeat like mantras that we forgive everyone and let everything go - this does not work! Checked! Finding cause-effect relationships does not work, DOES NOT WORK! Yes, you yourself know that the understanding that a person has offended you just because something did not work out for him at work does not make your offense easier and more painless. Also, the understanding that you do not get pleasure from sex just because your father was too cruel as a child will not help you get the desired orgasm.
Another thing works … the deepest study of the psychic. And you yourself do not know exactly when this shift will take place. Then, when the training tells how the skin-visual females in primitive times accompanied the flock on the hunt, serving the sexual desires of hunters and warriors. Or then, then the mental characteristics of a person with an anal vector are revealed. Behind all this lies the deepest theoretical base and it is physically impossible to fit it into the training format. But the training itself is practice. This is the opening of the psychic and its clearing from all trauma, anchors, dissatisfaction with culture, and other garbage that interferes with receiving that bliss, and simply more pleasure from this life. But more about that some other time.
***
If you believe statistics, people like me - 97%! 97% of women who are content with unleavened porridge … I have already changed it to delicacies. And I sincerely wish every woman the same.
I have come a long way, which started from attempts to solve the problem on my own, continued with folk remedies, sessions of psychologists and sex therapists. Years have been spent on this, not to mention the sums of money. But only one thing helped me, and personal correspondence with the members of my group only confirms the existence of such an unexpected, but incredibly important side effect of Yuri Burlan's training in systemic vector psychology. And I know that each of the 97% of women who are not able to get maximum pleasure have a chance to achieve this.
Here is what Yuri briefly said at one of the lectures on female orgasm:
Much of what has been said may seem superfluous, unnecessary and inactive to you. But we don’t tell the surgeon “don’t sew up the wound, you’ve already removed everything unnecessary, you did your job”. Work with the psychic is performed with the same surgical precision, and we do not immediately understand which words and to excite which processes in the psychic work.
