Can children be hit
And yet you are in doubt: is it possible to beat children? Many psychologists on the Internet are of the opinion that it is impossible. But you have to take their word for it - no one bothers to explain why this is so.
The old grandfather's belt, the time-tested cuff and just a slap on the butt - the temptation to use these means attracts many parents. Why?
- Sometimes it just doesn't work out to appease the child in another way.
- Many argue that they grew up as normal people precisely because of physical punishment.
- Advisers assure that if you do not punish in time, the child will grow up uncontrollable.
And yet you are in doubt: is it possible to beat children?
Many psychologists on the Internet are of the opinion that it is impossible. But you have to take their word for it - no one bothers to explain why this is so.
In this article, you will receive a detailed answer to the question of how exactly physical punishment affects the development of the baby. You will be able to make an informed, informed decision as to how justified such consequences are.
Is it possible to beat children for the purpose of education: what happens during physical punishment
Until puberty, the development of a baby is completely dependent on the environment. He has a special psychological bond with his mother: from her he gets a sense of security and safety. This is the basic condition without which the child's development is impaired.
With physical punishment, any baby loses a sense of security and safety. And he gets a guaranteed psychological trauma.
The consequences depend on the innate qualities and properties inherent in it by nature. We will consider examples below. But there is damage that works equally well for everyone.
Is it okay to hit children on the head
For example, the well-known cuff. Seemingly innocent punishment. This is not about seriously injuring a head injury! So, just teach, put in place, so that you don't get buried. But rarely is anyone aware of the consequences of such punishment.
The bones of the skull in babies are still pliable and elastic. The shock wave displaces the base of the brain along with the adjacent olfactory bulbs. The connection of external receptors with olfactory neurons is lost. This mechanism is described in detail in the article The Secret of the Cuff. How we unconsciously hit the most sore spot.
The consequences of such trauma are seldom immediately apparent. How will this affect the fate of the child?
Smells still play a huge role in our lives. At first we “smell” a suitable partner by smell, and only then an inexplicable sympathy arises for him. Ranking (an attempt to take its place in society) also happens on smells.
A kid hit on the head, becoming an adult, experiences serious difficulties in choosing a suitable pair and in order to take place in society. Of course, no nurturing parent wants such consequences.
Is it okay to hit a child on the lips
The reasons why the baby "gets on the lips" are different:
Sometimes adults stop him trying to taste everything. They are worried that the child does not get poisoning or infection.
All babies go through the oral stage of development: during this period they drag everything into their mouths. There is no point in hitting the lips - it is enough just not to allow the taking of dangerous objects. The oral stage passes quickly, and the baby will learn to know the world in a different way.
But there are guys whose mouth has a special sensitivity. These are the owners of the oral vector. They can pull everything into their mouth longer than others, play with saliva, blow bubbles out of their mouths. Here it is important to know how to properly develop and educate them: strikes on the most sensitive zone will cause serious damage.
There are kids who use toilet vocabulary. This is not a reason for punishment, but for a serious analysis of the reasons: such a state speaks of developmental problems. Of particular concern and confusion in adults, obscene words in children's speech cause. So the hand reaches out to give it to the lips in order to immediately and forever stop this muck!
For the first time, a preschooler hears a mate, he brings it to his family from kindergarten.
Mat is always about the sexual. But the kid still does not understand the meaning of these unusual words. Confused and agitated, he runs to his parents. Mom's most correct reaction is to calmly say that these are "adult" words and he should not use them. And turn your attention to something else. If you slap the lips and shame, in adulthood, sex and couples will covertly be perceived by a person as something dirty, blameworthy, unworthy. More about this in the article Child and the swear word. How do parents respond?
Is it possible to hit children on the hands
More often than others, those guys who have especially "haptile" hands from birth are given hands. They grab whatever they can reach. At the age of about a year, walking starts, and it becomes difficult for mom. Such a kid explores the world in a tactile way: he needs to grab, touch, touch any thing.
It's about guys with a skin vector. The skin is their hypersensitive area. They feel any touch many times brighter than others. They are nimble, agile, nimble, they cannot sit still. They are attracted and interested in everything new.
Such a baby loves to be stroked, scratched, massaged. With physical punishment, the little skinned person experiences excruciating pain, mental over-stress. When adults try to spank him and generally beat him in any way - this pain is orders of magnitude higher than that of the rest.
The consequences of physical punishment for skin babies
When over-stressed, the brain releases opiates to extinguish unbearable pain. Pain - opiates - inner balance. If the physical punishment is repeated, over time the child becomes dependent on opiates. Behaves provocatively: as it deliberately "runs into" flip flops or a belt. Only after the beatings he calms down - he gets a release, his dose of opiates.
This makes family life unbearable, but not only. A broken skin baby receives colossal damage for future destiny:
There is a desire for theft, theft (sometimes kleptomania). This is due to the fact that the social role of such a person in adulthood is the breadwinner. To maintain itself in conditions of super stress, the psyche "starts" the process of fulfilling an adult role too early. But the child cannot yet get it, earn it and starts stealing.
- The latent urge to receive pain deforms the entire life scenario. A girl with such a psychological trauma unconsciously chooses potential sadists or other variants of dysfunctional relationships in which she suffers as partners. She has a scenario of failure in a pair relationship. In boys, the failure scenario manifests itself in social fulfillment. With high ambitions, such a person is pathologically incapable of achieving his goals.
Whipping Myths and Legends
Skin guys get not only "hands". Often, adults do not know how to calm them down and calm them down: the baby looks insane, hyperactive. Most of the questions - is it possible to beat a child in the butt, is it possible to beat children with a belt and in some other way - are asked by the parents of skin babies. They are trying to find at least some acceptable form of punishment.
But there are no compromises here: all the skin of such a child is hypersensitive. The form of physical punishment does not matter. If you do not want to cause irreparable damage to the development and fate of the child, you cannot beat him.
There is another parental attempt to find a compromise: adults often ask whether it is possible to hit the child on the bottom with a hand or better with a belt and other objects. There is a legend that pain should not be inflicted by the hand of a loved one, and by a non-living object - not so scary. Surely you have already realized that this is also a baseless myth. Pain is always a loss of security and safety. You already know what consequences this has on the haptile hustler. What about other kids?
The consequences of physical punishment for different babies
The cumulative consequences depend on the full innate set of vectors. For instance:
- The owners of the visual vector have a huge emotional range. They have a changeable mood, tears are close. If you physically punish such guys, they suffer from fears and phobias, become hysterical and anxious.
The owners of the sound vector are immersed in themselves, they are natural introverts. Adults can break down when such kids simply do not hear them, they have to repeat everything many times. When a sound engineer loses a sense of security and safety, he goes even deeper into himself. Up to the loss of contact with the outside world and mental illness (schizophrenia, autism). Screaming, which is often accompanied by punishment, affects him especially strongly. It causes irreparable damage to the psyche due to the special sensitivity of the ears of the little sound speaker.
- Unhurried, detailed carriers of the anal vector are by nature the most obedient and loyal daughters and sons. But when they grow up in an uncomfortable rhythm for themselves (they are rushed, cut off, urged on), then they are stubborn, touchy, arguing. And for this reason, they fall under the hot hand of adults. With physical punishment, they develop a very difficult life scenario: resentment against their mother. And already an adult sees the whole world in black: he is offended at everyone, he thinks that he has not been given enough everywhere, is not respected, not appreciated.
Any toddler gets psychological trauma from beating. Modern children have a much larger psyche than the previous generation. And the susceptibility to any influence is much more subtle. So can parents beat their children? Just know that broken children today are a murdered future.
How to raise without a belt, shouting and spanking
Psychological knowledge allows you to ideally raise developed and realized members of society. For example, when you understand that you have a small skinner in front of you, you will not have a question whether it is possible to hit the child in the face or hands. You will understand exactly the consequences of pain and humiliation. You will have an alternative - the exact knowledge of how to properly raise such a baby.
Each vector has its own nuances. The training course "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan gives guaranteed results when the problem behavior of kids goes away forever and without any violence. You can get started with free introductory online lectures: