How not to write to your ex
You were together, even if not for long, and you became close to each other. At one point, everything that connected you was cut off. How can you feel in such a situation? As if part of the soul was taken away, no less. You gave love and care from yourself to a person, but now this is impossible, and an emptiness remains inside …
I keep his phone number and our old love. Memories are burning, my heart is bursting with pain and the realization that nothing can be returned. As an addict, humiliating myself and losing myself, I write to him and cannot stop. How not to write to your ex, if without it there is no longer any sense in life?
Why do you want to write and is it ok
You were together, even if not for long, and you became close to each other. At one point, everything that connected you was cut off. How can you feel in such a situation? As if part of the soul was taken away, no less. You gave love and care from yourself to a person, but now this is impossible, and an emptiness remains inside.
If it was good and then it stopped, then it's okay to want everything back. Turn on the light again so that it is not scary in the dark. After parting, you need something to keep afloat. You need some kind of thread connecting with the past in order to confidently step into the future.
Who even decided that it was unacceptable to write a few words to a former lover? Yes, it hurts if he doesn't answer anymore. But exaggerated demands on oneself, a categorical prohibition to write make one seek consolation in kilograms of sweets, alcohol, cigarettes or even drugs. Then one addiction turns into others, from which it is more difficult to get out.
If the constant urge to write makes you uncomfortable, then it's time to figure out how to stop texting your ex.
How to resist and not write
Answer yourself honestly: what do you want to get from the correspondence? Whatever the answer, correspondence is just a path to something you desire. However, you are a modern, versatile woman, you are a person. And you can accomplish what you want in many other ways. Moreover, for this you have the necessary psychological properties. What are they?
Communication with the object of love always brings positive emotions, fills life with feelings. When you manage to feel various shades of joy, love, then your soul is good, but life has meaning. Even now, after parting, the thought of a loved one makes the inside warmer and the world brighter. However, a short message gives the same short-term emotion. Therefore, I want to write every day, every hour, in order to experience feelings again and again. It is impossible to live without feelings - otherwise the heart dries up like a flower in the desert. These special properties - emotionality and sensuality - make you worry a lot when you break up, but they also heal wounds in your heart.
Watching a good movie; a trip to the museum if you love art; reading, if you enjoy reading, allows you to experience a range of different feelings. They revive the heart, remind you that there is still a lot of beauty around, and this beauty is waiting for your attention. Allow yourself to feel more, because in this situation, more is better.
In the past, not only emotions hold, but also memory. Of course, at first there is nowhere to go from the memories associated with the ex-partner. The most annoying thing is that I remember everything very accurately, down to the details. Why is the past scenes constantly scrolling in my head? First, I want to figure out what went wrong, fix it and never repeat it again. Secondly, it seems that it will never be so good … It is scary to start a new life, because there is uncertainty. The soul is crying: return everything as it was!
These properties - memory, analysis, the value of the past - are just given in order to gain experience from the situation and become better. It's just that if you are already tired of repeating the same "lesson" about unsuccessful relationships, arrange yourself a change, remember that you can learn a lot more. If you use your properties to the fullest in any matter, take at least drawing, then there will be no strength left for anything else.
If to write, then what to write
Write a letter. Present, pen on paper. Imagine that you are in the 19th century and you do not have the opportunity to send mail horses every hour with a two-line message “Hello, how are you”.
A letter is not an SMS. You need to think over the text, its content, work on each sentence. On the other hand, paper will endure everything. There is so much room here to finally express everything that you think, feel. Write to your ex and what a villain he is, and how bored you are - whatever comes to mind. You have the right, allow yourself. Why limit the number of characters on the phone?
Writing is psychotherapy. In the process, you will begin to understand yourself better, get to know yourself better, and this is the most important thing. You will understand your attitude towards your partner, look from the outside and realize what you really want. Maybe you want to return the relationship and are confident that everything will work out. Or maybe you are replacing by correspondence with your ex for real happiness, which is already at the door. In either case, after the writing session, you will have a chance to do the right thing.
What else is worth doing
You have questions for yourself, for your partner, for life in general. This is a good opportunity to sort out everything that worries. The psychology of relationships and personality can now answer the most important questions - at the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology".
Systemic knowledge allows you to expand the picture of what is happening, look at your life from different angles - both with and without relationships. They give a clear definition of the characteristics of a person, his actions and words. You still think about your ex. So do it for your benefit, so that these thoughts bring comfort, not suffering. Get to know the person from the inside as he is, what properties are driving him and where your relationship will lead. Such psychoanalysis will help you choose the best for yourself, build a happy life.
Taking the first step towards a new habit is very difficult, but possible. This is proved by the stories of people who are satisfied with the results of the training:
Systems thinking is a tool. When the events of life are revealed in full, at a glance, you can decide for yourself: continue the previous actions or choose the option that will be best for you. This knowledge helps you make your life meaningful and feel happy. That's all.
