A Hundred Years of Slavery, or Where Grievances Lead
Sometimes a person realizes that resentment does not allow him to live a full life. Wants to learn to forgive or at least forget. At the same time, he sees that there are many people around who do not know how to take offense. Why does one person get hurt for "living", while the other hardly reacts to the annoying incident, and in a minute he will completely forget?
Yes, you belong to me. I settled in your heart for the first time when you decided that your mother loves her little sister more than you. Every day I reinforced this belief in you, nurtured it and nourished it. But what about? I had to grow. As a child, you did not understand what drives your actions. I needed you to remain a little hurt child forever. Because then it's easier for me to control you.
I suggested that the teachers are unfair to you, that your classmates do not appreciate you. I pointed out what kind of people they really are, and you saw that there were only freaks around. I revealed that all women are dirty and corrupt, and you never started your own family. I convinced you that the government is all about money-grubbing and corrupt officials. And you hated your country, and then the whole world.
I taught you to live on the couch, throw mud at everything, devalue the actions and feelings of other people. And I also taught you to take revenge on the Internet - surreptitiously, anonymously defecate your naked truth.
And the day came when my invisible chains completely deprived you of the opportunity for change. When you have not only stopped looking into the future, but also stopped living in the present. When the joy that was deadly for me left you. And I stopped being afraid that someday you will realize who is to blame for your troubles, and you want to get rid of me forever.
What kind of people are offended
Do you see Sisyphus pushing a huge boulder uphill, and he always rolls down? Imagine that this stone is a load of human grievances. Every day it only becomes heavier, and it is already impossible to roll it even along the straight road of life.
Sometimes a person realizes that resentment does not allow him to live a full life. Wants to learn to forgive or at least forget. At the same time, he sees that there are many people around who do not know how to take offense. Why does one person get hurt for "living", while the other hardly reacts to the annoying incident, and in a minute he will completely forget?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows that the keeper of grievances is also the keeper of the family hearth, the experience and knowledge of previous generations. And it also has the potential to transmit these values into the future. This is the best student and the best teacher. He is naturally given a phenomenal memory, an analytical mindset, a striving for perfection.
These amazing people from birth possess one of the eight facets of the human psyche - the anal vector.
Why grudges arise
True, honesty, fairness are significant values for a person with an anal vector. But justice is perceived by him in a special way - everything should be equally. In childhood, not realizing that the youngest child in the family requires more attention, such a person will think that he is deprived of parental love. At first it is a slight discomfort, then a prolonged oppressive feeling and, finally, a permanent negative state of the psyche. In this transformation, all the qualities of the anal vector inherent in nature play a "cruel joke" with a person.
Attention to detail, the desire to bring everything to an ideal result makes resentment grow over with new details. Phenomenal memory turns into rancor. I remember all the bad things that people have done to me, and I keep.
The tendency to neatness, cleanliness turns into an intention to stain everything, to devalue.
The natural ability to be better fathers and husbands turns into a conviction to lead a bachelor lifestyle.
And this is not a complete list of the best qualities of a man with an anal vector that go to the trash can if he gets hurt.
How resentment affects life
Resentment as the strongest suffering crosses out our life. It, like an invisible prison, does not allow joy inside, but opens wide the doors to everything negative that is outside.
If in the beginning there is still a feeling of guilt, which can be a motivator for a change for the better, then the resentment, growing, extinguishes this feeling. And the person himself no longer feels guilty, but spends all his life energy to blame other people.
A constant state of deprivation deprives a person of the ability to enjoy something. He becomes a hostage of resentment, lives in the past.
Any development is a movement forward into the future. And the obsession with bad experience, long gone, leads to a complete inability to change and adapt in society, in fact to degradation.
How to get rid of resentment
Living in resentment, in the past, is like fishing in a dry riverbed.
At some point, a person realizes that grievances prevent him from living fully, or does not realize, but feels this inner traffic jam, which closes access to the joy of life, the realization of his potential.
Consultations with psychologists, auto-training, meditations, prayers do not help. It is impossible to order the consciousness to do something, and not to pay attention to something, because our actions are controlled by the unconscious. The state of the psyche is an offense that longs for revenge and justice.
The only help is a deep understanding of mental processes. Own experiences are realized, and the "offenders" appear in a completely new quality. The offended person begins to realize the motivation and the true reasons for their actions. And why this or that behavior of other people caused in him such a reaction as resentment.
This skill breaks the cage of the most difficult conditions, dissolves resentment, and a person begins to breathe fresh air of enjoying life.
Here's what those who got rid of the burden of grievances say:
These topics are discussed in detail in one of Yuri Burlan's free online classes on systemic vector psychology. Come to get rid of the ballast of your grievances. Register here.
