Feel or laugh? How to Create Intimacy
Crying with another person is a much deeper connection than laughing together. Because laughter is an animal level of interaction, and tears is a human level. Tears in the sense of empathy, sympathy for another is the work of the soul.
A person behaves differently with different people. With some, he formally maintains a conversation, with someone he laughs until he drops, and opens his soul to someone. The degree of emotional immersion in another person determines the quality of the relationship.
What's the easiest way to start a new relationship? How to create inner intimacy and increase the mutual pleasure of communicating with loved ones?
Let's reveal the secrets of communication through the prism of the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
About two vectors out of eight
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borzh
Once upon a time people had a need to exchange information orally - to talk. This is how the oral vector appeared, verbalizing meanings directly from the unconscious. The peculiarity of the oral vector is the ability to address the animal nature hidden in every person. By telling anecdotes, the owner of the oral vector removes the heavy burden of the cultural layer from a person. Oral makes you laugh, it seems close and pleasant. Therefore, he easily converges with any person.
Later, the visual vector appeared, the creator of culture - the secondary limitation of primary animal urges (to sex and murder).
The visual vector and the oral are contra vectors. This means that their properties are opposite to each other. The visual vector is the suppression of animal nature, and the oral vector is its awakening. Especially the opposite polarity is manifested in the same life situation. For example, when dealing with people.
If the oral in communication refers to the animal part of a person, then the visual to the human: he sympathizes with the interlocutor, builds an emotional connection with him.
Animal and human communication. Feel or laugh?
The serious is destroyed by laughter, laughter - by the serious.
Aristotle
At the beginning of any relationship, there is a period when two strangers must somehow get closer so that communication ceases to be formal. This can happen in different ways.
A couple of jokes, letting go of laughter. The oral method of interaction removes all the embarrassment, inconvenience, discomfort of not knowing what is in the soul of another person. We laughed and agreed that, altering the well-known expression, nothing animal is alien to us.
But it happens otherwise. Suddenly, a stranger shared some innermost experience. This echoed in another, and he responded in the same way - with a sincere story about himself. If the conversation develops, sometimes it takes many hours, but flies by as if in an instant. This is a magical moment when you feel that you have found a soul mate.
To create relationships visually, you need to have a certain fearlessness to open your soul and be ready to sympathize with the feelings of the interlocutor. In an oral relationship, the person is “safe”. You can hide the whole range of feelings behind laughter: dislike and sympathy, depression and fear …
Crying with another person is a much deeper connection than laughing together. Because laughter is an animal level of interaction, and tears is a human level. Tears in the sense of empathy, sympathy for another is the work of the soul.
Oral laughter emasculates feelings, easily devalues them. Behind the outward ease of this way of starting a relationship - making the other laugh and laughing yourself - you can lose the ability to create spiritual closeness, truly deep relationships.
The joy of living among people
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you to find a common language with any person. This carries a tremendous potential of joy: where we suffered from emptiness and omissions, where we longed for love and mutual understanding and did not find, we are able to create that depth of emotional, spiritual connection that brings relationships to a completely new level of mutual happiness. There are thousands of reviews about this, here are some of them:
“… I went to training for this result, precisely for this. This was the last chance for our family … It so happened that my relationship with my husband went wrong. After a brightly ardent love, two years later, we cooled to each other. He became indifferent to me in all respects. And I began to hate him. Because he took it all away from me. We lived like neighbors in a communal apartment. It was going to divorce.
Training. And then the results began. Now, after 16 years together, we breathe each other. I wanted to write that our honeymoon is back. But no. Now such feelings are deep that I could not even imagine that it could be so between people who have known each other for many years.
I didn’t do anything on purpose, didn’t read conspiracies, didn’t give my grandmother's water to drink. I just listened to the training. My husband suddenly began to live by me, to be interested in everything I live, interests, to support. I have incredible potential in my intimate sphere. We love each other, we discover each other. We sense each other. But all these sensations are on a new level, as if something was added to you and you accepted it with joy and love. Now I understand what it is like to feel with your husband that you are one."
Victoria S., Donetsk Read the full text of the result
“We listened to free lectures together and got to know each other anew, empathizing with each other … Dislike and claims to my husband were gone already at the very first lectures, there was such joy, such acceptance and inspiration from each other, such unity in how to look at our children ! …"
Natalia, Moscow Watch video feedback
Human communication has a huge potential for pleasure. And although this is not obvious, it is the imposition of restrictions on the animal nature, and not getting rid of them, that is the way to get the maximum pleasure in the relationship.
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