How to become a self-confident person and finally start living
When I was 13, I almost drowned just because I was embarrassed to call for help. Even the instinct of self-preservation did not help - my face was flooded with water every now and then, I tried to swim out with my last strength, fully aware that I could die. And I knew I would not call for help! I was so insecure that my insecurity was life-threatening.
Are you familiar with the situation when, for example, you need to loudly say something to the driver in the minibus, but for some reason you cannot? And these are just flowers! There are even more serious problems, after which you once again think about how to become a self-confident person. When in the most decisive moments of life you cannot express yourself due to constraint, insecurity and shyness - this leads to despair!
As you've seen for yourself, none of the online advice on how to be confident works. Deep breathing and squats do not help to maintain calmness in important moments of life, straight posture, expensive clothes, a superficial confident look do not help, meditation with affirmations does not help - nothing helps.
In this article, I will share the only working way that helped me to gain self-confidence. But everything was hopeless enough for me - judge for yourself.
As it was
… When I was 13 years old, I almost drowned just because I was embarrassed to call for help. Even the instinct of self-preservation did not help - my face was flooded with water every now and then, I tried to swim out with my last strength, fully aware that I could die. And I knew I would not call for help! I was so insecure that my insecurity was life-threatening.
… When I was 22 years old, my career as a TV presenter ended, and did not begin, when on trial filming I, beautiful and smart, seized a dull stupor, turning into chilling horror. I stumbled, blushed, smiled stupidly instead of just calmly reading the text, looking at the camera. After experiencing stress, shame and a sense of shame, I firmly decided that I would never again encroach on such a job in my life. I was too insecure for her.
… When I was 27 years old, I could not finish my speech at a business conference only because my voice began to tremble treacherously, and my thought was lost. I had to interrupt, unable to continue, causing bewilderment among the audience. They thought that I felt bad, and I cried at home all evening, burning with shame and bitterness, desperate to understand how to gain confidence in myself.
This is how my life passed. I was deprived of much of what my ambitious soul wanted, and I could not figure out how to become more confident in myself. For example, she could not communicate freely, be the soul of the company. Sing karaoke. Why even dance. Yes, yes, I know how Buratino you feel when you are pulled onto the dance floor.
The most amazing thing is that there were many personalities around who did not differ in special intelligence and external data, but they behaved confidently, cheekily and even arrogantly, and their life developed in a different way. They never thought about how to become more confident, as if they were born that way.
In the end, I came to terms with this insecurity as part of my character. Until one day I found out how a person is arranged, where this quality came from and how to get rid of it. That is, how to gain confidence.
Perhaps the next part of the article will seem somewhat unexpected to you - the plus is that by looking inside your mental device, you will be able to solve this problem. Only by understanding the mechanism that lives by you, thinks you, makes decisions, makes you doubt, causes tremors in the body and increases sweating, paralyzes the brain when it is so needed … Only when you discover the reasons for your current state, you will know exactly how feel confident for the rest of your life.
Self-confidence is … Anatomy of the psyche
I learned about how a person is arranged, where uncertainty comes from and how to become more self-confident during the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.
This modern knowledge allows us to understand the causes of any negative state, and most importantly, to eliminate these causes, respectively, eliminating the consequence.
The fact is that the psyche of any person consists, as of a mosaic, of vectors (innate mental properties and desires). There are eight vectors in total. A modern person has several vectors, as a rule (3-4 on average). Vectors can be in different states, influence each other, creating conditions for negative or positive life scenarios.
Bad vectors do not exist, but each vector can "fail", bringing annoying problems to its carrier.
Self-doubt, which is also called low self-esteem, is a possible problem for the owners of the bundle of the anal and visual vectors. The good news is that the potential of these vectors is huge and once a person gets to know it, feel in himself that there is no trace of uncertainty. After all, nature is so arranged that absolutely all our desires are provided with properties for their achievement. We want - so we can! Be confident too.
Let's figure it out in more detail - where did my insecurity come from? Why is it difficult to get rid of it? And what is self-confidence?
Even at the free introductory training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan, I realized that the anal vector firmly binds our perception to the past (yes, we are just those people who are called conservative). We remember well all our bad experience - how someone refused us, how we were seized with stupor or excitement at the most inopportune moment, how we, trying to overcome all this and still say something, said some stupid things and behaved ridiculous …
We know very well about ourselves that we are often not able to make our dreams come true, because many times we wanted and put them on the back burner - for "tomorrow", which never came. How to become confident, knowing all this about yourself, but not even guessing about your potential? You can't fool yourself!
The visual vector endows both women and men with a special sensitivity, the ability to truly love, compassion, but also much more afraid than other people. Moreover, as a rule, these emotions are mutually supplanting: either we love and are not afraid of anything, or we are afraid and are emotionally focused on ourselves. The first state - outward - leads us to realization and happiness. The second leads to excruciating fears and insecurities.
"Intertwining" in us, the anal and visual vectors in such a deplorable state make us the most vulnerable, touchy, restless and insecure person in the world.
And if you, like me, also have a skin vector, the desires of which are directed towards property and social superiority, it is very difficult to avoid an internal conflict. The desires of the skin vector for success and prosperity cannot break through the fear and stupor of the visual and anal vectors, they make you look for the answer to the question of how to become a self-confident person. Fortunately, the situation is fixable.
How to find a "switch" and change the state of things, how to become a confident person?
How to be confident in yourself - advice from a psychologist
What to counterbalance bad experiences? How to believe that you are capable of a lot so that self-confidence will appear inside you, manifesting naturally outside? And so that it is not blind faith, not naive dreaminess, but a solid, well-grounded knowledge about oneself, one's capabilities, one's real desires, which are always provided by a wise nature with properties for realization. After all, this is exactly what it means - to be confident in yourself.
The answer is simple: you need to see the potential that nature has laid in you - to get to know yourself. To do this, start studying system-vector psychology - read the articles, listen to the introductory free training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
The state of your psyche changes already during the passage of the free online training. How does this happen? You begin to perceive yourself and the world around you more accurately, in volume. Thousands of people talk about how their lives have changed after the training:
I also went through the entire training. I want to share with you how my life has changed so that you have something to compare with.
How did it become
- When we met my husband and we had not yet had a relationship, I was the first to confess my love to him, not being afraid that he would not say - "And I do you too" - in response. I didn't know if he loved me, but I found there was nothing shameful in love, even if it was unrequited. It was I who initiated our whirlwind romance. I said that I want us to live together. And we are still happy.
- I clearly know what I want from life, what I want to do and why. I know what to do for this, and I do it consistently. For example, I made the decision to master the profession of a sales manager and I work successfully in active sales. I need this stage to hone the art of negotiation. I make cold calls to strangers, build connections with them, and many of them buy from me. I don’t shy away, I don’t fall into a stupor and I don’t say stupidity, my confidence inspires their trust.
- And yes, if I'm in a minibus and I need to tell the driver something, I shout without hesitation. And if he doesn't hear, I shout louder. I'm confident in myself.
You can become a self-confident person by understanding how beautifully you are arranged and how much nature is inherent in you! Start with Yuri Burlan's free training "System Vector Psychology".