I don't want to live
I don't want to live - what should I do with this obsessive desire? There is absolutely no one to share these experiences with, and why? All the same, they will not understand and certainly will not say anything new. The feeling of absolute loneliness is only intensified by stupid and inappropriate recommendations to “think again”, “take a break from the crisis”, “read affirmations”, remember “starving children” or “duty”. And if you don’t want to think about debt and cannot think again, what to do? Why don't you want to live anyway?
I don't want to live. I can't live any longer. There is no strength … I am so tired that I cannot get out of bed. And why? Why is this all? It's the same every day. Leave me alone! I want to die. How can others live and enjoy? Why can't I like them? Are they crazy or am I losing my mind? What's wrong with me??? How tired of this falsehood, this noise, this vanity … it is impossible to endure all this running around, this empty shallow swarming. What to do if you don't want to live and everything, absolutely everything, annoys, tires. My eyes would not see …
I can't even breathe. How difficult it turns out to be. More and more often the idea comes to end this already. Thinking is hard, but not thinking is impossible. Thoughts pulsate in the temples and press down to the ground. There was nothing left inside - only the incessant pain and emptiness. Every day the hope for a miracle fades away, the answers are not found, the pain intensifies. The emptiness grows, and the strength dries up. A new one is discovered behind each bottom. The soul is torn apart. I don't want to live. What to do?
In all spheres of life, collapse occurs, but this does not touch a person who does not see the point in getting out of bed. The exhausted body does not rest even during many hours of sleep, which later is completely replaced by insomnia. How to live on, and most importantly, why is not clear.
I don't want to live - what should I do with this obsessive desire? There is absolutely no one to share these experiences with, and why? All the same, they will not understand and certainly will not say anything new. The feeling of absolute loneliness is only intensified by stupid and inappropriate recommendations to “think again”, “take a break from the crisis”, “read affirmations”, remember “starving children” or “duty”. And if you don’t want to think about debt and cannot think again, what to do? Why don't you want to live anyway?
Who wants to die and why
I do not want to live - this is a verbalization of a sick state of the sound vector, tormented by the meaninglessness of existence and poisoned by an extreme degree of egocentrism. Almost everyone (!) Feels unbearable loneliness, but there are about 5% of sound specialists among us. A rare owner of a sound vector has not encountered depressive states. In fact, sound people are looking for meaning, looking for eternity. They are the only ones who are primarily focused on the intangible. If they are interested in the material world, then only from a scientific point of view. They are drawn to philosophy, psychology.
Someone is guided by the state and looking for ways to change it - with practices, music or substances. This briefly distracts or dulls the pain, but does not affect the cause. The reason is immaterial, since the psyche is forces. There is only one reason for sound - endogenous - depression: search. Unsatisfied search for the meaning of life.
It is the sound search that leads to the study of various spiritual theories and practices. Temporarily satisfying the hunger for knowledge, they soon disappoint, finding themselves somewhere illogical, somewhere controversial, and somewhere simply deceitful, emptying the soul and mind. Little strength remains and even less faith in the world and in oneself. Only skepticism, fatigue and a sense of detachment grow. And again this grave condition overtakes. And again the thought - "I don't want to live."
At the mental level, depression manifests itself as a series of difficult experiences:
- unstoppable stream of thoughts
- going to sleep,
- a feeling of illusion and meaninglessness of the environment,
- black void
- mental pain
- hatred of yourself and others,
- unwillingness to live is a sign of a serious condition, prolonged depression.
In a bad state, the sonic's self-images are somewhere on the scale of egocentrism between "Am I a trembling creature?" and "I am above everyone else." This is a consequence of the natural concentration on oneself, multiplied by the high intelligence of the sound engineer and the illusion of his separation from humanity as a whole.
The body does not lag behind the psyche. Psychosomatically, depression manifests itself through:
- lethargy, apathy,
- headaches,
- sleep disorders - insomnia or sleep for 16 hours.
Antidepressants muffle acute pain, help keep from a fatal mistake, but do not solve the problem. A person may no longer want to die, but the desire to live further does not arise. The soul still toils and thirsts for meaning.
In extreme negative states, the sound specialists come to the point of looking for ways to commit suicide. Sensing the difference between the spiritual and the material, the sound engineer mistakenly believes that, having freed himself from the body, he will free the soul and go to eternity. But this is a fatal mistake. Suicide is actually the exact opposite of eternal life. To live further in this world is our way to get to infinity. And suicide - the only antithesis of eternal life - is the murder of the soul.
This is hidden from us by consciousness, but the unconscious knows this, therefore, from the very last forces, which, it would seem, have long been gone, a person still hopes and seeks, seeks, seeks, seeks and seeks an answer.
What if you don't want to live
You can find meaning, understand yourself only by focusing outward. The sound engineer does not know this, but it is he, like no one else, who is able to understand his soul, the soul of his neighbor, as his own, and the connections between them. And it is precisely the sound people who are potentially able to realize themselves and help others understand the meaning of the existence of our world and how it is connected with infinity. This is a big, one might say, a great task, and if it is not fulfilled, an equally great emptiness takes its place. The soundman intuitively understands that he is special - he is different from others from early childhood. And somewhere deep inside he is ready for something great, great. This is no coincidence. His abilities are potentially the most powerful.
Nature has endowed sound specialists with the most powerful abstract intellect, modernity - with a powerful temperament, that is, the power of desire. By nature, sound people are extreme introverts. Most of all they are interested in their own inner world. They have to learn to focus outward. If a sound engineer learns this, he is able to brilliantly realize his abilities in the world, and society gets geniuses, scientists, inventors. Developed realized sound scientists make discoveries and create world-changing ideas. If all this power is locked inside, nothing but severe suffering, and even tragedies, will receive neither the sound engineer nor the world.
Each of the eight vectors has a task given by nature. It is expressed through innate properties and unconscious desires and aspirations. The work of sound specialists is the disclosure of the unknown, the search for meaning, and not only for themselves - for everyone. Any sound engineer always involuntarily asks questions like "Why?", "Why?", "What's the point?" If the answers are not found, the sound suffers, gets sick, loses the desire to live on.
The unwillingness to live changes to its opposite - the active desire to live, when the sound person, exhausted by an ineffectual search, finally finds answers. The answers are in nature, and the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan reveals them to us.
As soon as the sound engineer enters the path corresponding to the vocation, his state changes. Loss and despair give way to calmness and confidence. Finally, the acquired understanding of meaning gives strength and desire to live on. This happens naturally when a huge void is filled with deep meanings. More earthly desires also wake up, and even simple everyday little things also acquire their legitimate meaning.
How the human soul is connected with the body, what latent impulses control our desires and aspirations, why we suffer or are happy, what we really want - all this can be understood at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
"System-vector psychology" reveals to us our own inner world, helps us find the meaning of life - ours, to which the soul, mind and body respond. There is an understanding of how, what and why to do it. This state of meaninglessness and emptiness never returns. The soul, instead of being tormented by unanswered questions, follows the path of awareness and comprehension.
The training introduces us to ourselves and the world anew. Why we are who we are, how we differ, why we live, how all this is connected and where it leads - a series of realizations, one deeper than the other, overtake from the first lessons. Starting from simple observations, we rise to ever more capacious and complex meanings, filling our frantic thirst for truth and knowledge of what is hidden. Most importantly, everything makes sense. Since natural mechanisms are revealed, everything that is given during the training is absolutely verifiable and observable. Accurate and truthful knowledge brings the mind, soul, and then the body into balance.
We are beginning to see causal relationships at all levels. Eight vectors, eight points of view, eight facets of reality perception are like eight worlds, which in their interconnection are revealed by "System-Vector Psychology" and the sound engineer is able to fully comprehend.
Try it. Don't miss this chance. There is a future for those who did not want to live anymore, there is a meaning, and there is infinity - here, on this side of life.
