Why women marry prisoners
An unhappy, needy, broken man almost always arouses compassion in a woman with a ban on sensuality. Rather, this is the only way, plunging herself into pity for the needy, is a woman able to experience at least some feelings. This becomes a life buoy for her, allowing her to show care, to experience the entire, albeit incomplete, gamut of feelings next to the "unfortunate" man …
With a smile on her face, Tanya was carefully wrapping two large tubes of unpacked paste and a new toothbrush in a new pair of men's socks. Weight had to be saved on every little thing, since the transfer of more than 20 kg would have to be gutted and something to be pulled out from there.
Barely buttoning a large checkered bag, Tanya exhaled. Well, now it seems like everything. You can take care of yourself.
Singing her husband's favorite song, the girl went to the bathroom. This time, she still had to add water to the tube of shampoo, since she had no money left for a new one. It's good that the next big salary is coming soon.
Eleven hours later, she obediently stood in front of the iron gates at a nondescript booth like a small trailer and pressed a rusty button on a strange device, from where the voice of the junior inspector was supposed to be heard. Finally she heard a dull "Yes."
“Smirnova to Ignatov from the 9th detachment, for a long time,” Tanya reported confidently.
Three hours later, with a flushed face and slightly disheveled hair, the woman was already chirping merrily in the shared kitchen, squeezing mayonnaise into Olivier and putting four plates, two forks, two cups and a large frying pan in one pile. Everything that they may need with their beloved for three days.
Such a strange happiness
Looking at her, it was impossible to say that Tatyana was unhappy. And some even began to think that she liked this life.
However, Tatyana was often surprised at herself and surprised others in the choice of men.
Why would she, who has a higher education, a good job and a salary, who has never been married, who has no children, who considers herself a very smart girl, need such a relationship?
Relationship with a man imprisoned 14 years ago for fraud and murder.
She could not explain her choice even to herself. This is probably why she often called her beloved "you are my destiny." And just as often, before leaving the meeting, she heard the same phrase: "This … hear, Tan, do not forget to put money into my account as soon as you arrive."
Tanya did not even suspect that it was she who was in charge of her life, and that “fate” had nothing to do with it.
What really pushed her over and over again into such a hopeless relationship?
What unconscious desires forced her to make important decisions contrary to common sense and any logic?
And where do the desires come from, which it is not always possible to explain even to oneself, so strange and contradictory they are?
What really drives us
Fortunately, only at first glance it may seem to an ordinary person that there is no logical explanation in the actions of such women.
If you dig deeper, into the innermost (unconscious) of these women, you can see many events that happened in the childhood of such girls. Events that have shaped certain preferences in life. Events that refract the woman's natural desire to be protected by a man, to receive natural pleasure in a relationship with a man-earner.
It is not just that from time immemorial a woman who was next to her man received from him not only physical protection, but also food, because you cannot argue with nature. Being periodically pregnant, a woman could not independently obtain food for herself, and after giving birth, also feed her offspring.
Only thanks to the correct "distribution of roles" between a man and a woman, children were successfully born into the world, gradually increasing the entire human race to 7 billion people.
Today, in most cases, a man also protects and feeds a woman who arouses physical attraction to himself and creates an emotional connection with him, that is, loving.
We can say that a man becomes a “giver” in relation to such a woman, giving her not only the seed for the birth of children, but also material security.
Unfortunately, not all women know how to build healthy relationships from the point of view of nature.
In the modern world, for various reasons, the fairer sex may have false beliefs that a woman is better than men able to provide for herself and her family. And often the girls' mothers play the main role in this process.
How to ruin your daughter's life with the best intentions
For four hours on the unpleasant-smelling bus, Tatyana often recalled the smell of her mother's signature charlotte with cinnamon and lemon and her mother's sad, tired eyes, usually a little swollen in the morning. The girl loved it when her mother had only one day off a week, and they managed to have breakfast together at a table too large for two people.
At these moments, Tanya's mother often stroked the girl's hair and said quietly: “Daughter, I so want you to be happy, so that at least you could find a good man. But even if you fall in love, never forget: you still can't rely on a man. No matter how good he is, learn to rely only on yourself. Life, Tanyusha … life is so unpredictable."
Tanya clapped her blue eyes, not really understanding what her mother was talking about. But these words seemed to her absolutely correct, because they were uttered by the person closest to her and loved one.
“Be strong like your mother. And don't cry, never cry, no one is worth your tears, - like melted butter on a still warm loaf of bread, mother's words were absorbed into the girl's mind.
If Tanya's mother knew then that the girl would never again be able to forget these words, that she would take them into her life, like a recipe for her mother's favorite charlotte, like a recipe for happiness that her mother shared with her with such love …
And my mother did not know that, forbidding her daughter to cry with a visual vector, she involuntarily forbade her to express her feelings and emotions, which in visual people are often manifested precisely through tears.
It is psychologically very painful for a super-emotional visual child not to cry when he wants to, not to scream when he is bursting with happiness, not to scream when he is tempted to cry, that is, to keep all emotions in himself. Therefore, over time, this pain is repressed into the unconscious. This is how the child gradually develops a prohibition on the expression of feelings.
An unhappy, needy, broken man almost always arouses compassion in a woman with a ban on sensuality. Rather, this is the only way, plunging herself into pity for the needy, is a woman able to experience at least some feelings. This becomes a life buoy for her, allowing her to show care, to experience the entire, albeit incomplete, gamut of feelings, next to the "unhappy" man.
And what kind of men can we feel sorry for in the modern world?
Correctly. Those who could not adapt and need help, for example, social maladapters and prisoners.
How to destroy false beliefs
But my mother did not know and could not know at that time that, sharing her sorrowful experience, she practically deprives her daughter of the chance to become happy when paired with a man.
Unfortunately, this happens quite often, and only with the best intentions, to keep your child from suffering and pain.
But, fortunately, even with many erroneous attitudes and inexplicable, strange desires, you can also survive. And not just to survive, but to learn to completely control your life and direct it in the right direction.
Nature is unmistakable. You just need to learn to understand its laws.
For example, just as these women did:
