Lessons from Overcoming Dislike, or Why Should I Reckon With Other People?
We are not used to pretending and hiding our feelings. We will lay out the whole "truth-womb", if "which is not our way." And since we do not keep our distance between ourselves, we hit harder …
The world is increasingly demanding that we understand other people. Wherever you go, you need to take into account someone's opinion, coordinate your actions with someone's interests, in general, think about others more than about yourself. Despite individualism, in the modern world we are becoming more and more interdependent.
It is difficult to think about others, but there is no other way of living - not making money, not creating a relationship with the opposite sex, not raising a child so that he becomes happy.
And if you think only of yourself and in the likeness of seeing some egoists around you, you can get bogged down in hostility towards others. Because only I am right, and the rest are wrong. Only I do something in this world, and everyone else lives at my expense.
Why it is difficult for us to reckon with other people and why we need it, explains the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
What is the problem? They and we
In the West, relations between people are quite successfully regulated by money and the law. Business requires taking into account the interests of potential consumers of services and goods. The better you understand what a person needs, the more you earn.
The Western skin mentality gives its carriers psychological flexibility, the ability to "bend" under another person for the sake of acquiring material benefits, which are valuable for them. The tendency to restrict, to follow the letter of the law is also a distinctive feature of Western society. And everyone obeys the law unquestioningly. This is a way to settle any relationship without scandals and personal transitions.
That is why the West takes into account the interests of another person. In another way, it is unprofitable - it will cost itself more. And no matter how much hatred bubbled inside, it always hides behind a polite smile.
We, the bearers of the Russian urethral-muscular mentality, are different. A person with an urethral vector is generous, open-minded and focused on bestowal. He was created by nature to think more about others than about himself. By his purpose, he is a leader, so he does not even feel sorry for his life for the sake of his pack. Russian people, even without the urethral vector, are mentally like that.
After the collapse of the USSR, we abruptly moved from the anal phase of development, when in the first place was the value of the family as a unit of society, quality was valued, into the skin phase - the phase of a sharp acceleration in the pace of life and pronounced individualism. As Yuri Burlan says, “the landing was tough, and we continue to disentangle the consequences of this injury in the form of a wave of frustrations and social psychopathologies.” Therefore, the dislike is off scale.
In the modern skin consumer society, our values are distorted. Not knowing our own mental properties and not paying attention to their development in the younger generation, we show our urethral superstructure not in the direction of bestowal, as it should be for a leader who keeps his flock, but in the direction of permissiveness. “Rules and laws are not a decree for me, I do and will do whatever I want. What the hell am I to reckon with people! If I want, I will throw the bottle out the window, if I want, I will bring it where it is necessary, if I personally don’t like something”.
We understand the law in a perverse way, since we are not internally limited and do not feel it. We use it in personal relationships, sometimes even to settle accounts. All our relationships, even in business, are built on the personal. This is due to the muscular community, the inner cohesion of Russians. We have always survived only together.
Unfortunately, today our community mentality does not make us more tolerant of each other; on the contrary, it only intensifies the situation. We are accustomed to living "in a communal apartment", but the time of individualism knocks our bearings. On the one hand, I cannot live without my neighbor - to whom can I pour out my soul? On the other hand, “don’t interfere with my life.” And this "do not interfere" can no longer be hidden behind a polite smile on duty. We are not used to pretending and hiding our feelings. We will lay out the whole "truth-womb", if "which is not our way." And since we do not keep our distance between ourselves, we hit harder …
So there is something to hate for
Add to this the rationalization that a person has something to hate, and you will understand the depth of the problem.
Representatives of different vectors have different reasons for dislike.
The carrier of the sound vector is the biggest egocentric, focused only on himself. He loves to indulge in thought, preferably in silence and solitude. Thoughts take him far from the physical world. Other people, always scurrying around with their petty problems, only interfere with concentration. "I hate!"
Potentially endowed with great intelligence, the owners of the visual vector are often snobs, arrogantly looking at the "cattle" that surrounds them. “Who are these little-minded people, and what are they capable of? It would have been better to plow the land …”If only they had thought, how they would have lived without these“narrow-minded plowmen”. Who would feed them, dress them, build houses and put them in order?
And the representatives of the anal vector burn their souls with resentment - they were not given, disliked, underestimated, under …, under … much more. "All the bad and going to get worse. People are shrinking. Was it different before … "- they argue.
Whatever one may say, there are reasons for a person to dislike. Only now nobody succeeds in getting out of this “submarine” called “human society”. Alone, no one has yet survived. So what - continue to live and suffer or learn to get along with other people? Or even get the skill to experience the pleasure of communicating with them? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows in practice that this is possible.
The inevitability of reconciliation
We still think that maybe we can somehow manage without other people. That if we somehow quietly, peacefully live, not bothering anyone, or, conversely, push everyone away with our elbows on our way, then we will definitely reach our Olympus, from which it will be possible to look down on everyone and spit down.
But in nature, everything is arranged differently. Everything in the world goes to the fact that understanding other people becomes a vital necessity for every person, like a breath of fresh air. Otherwise - bad conditions, dissatisfaction with life, war, in the end.
So, in Russia, we see attempts to build a rule of law according to the Western model, which contradicts our mentality. On the one hand, it sharpens hostility between people. On the other hand, we, with inevitable constancy, learn to reckon with other people, to take into account their interests.
Although it is much more effective for the carriers of the urethral-muscular mentality to do this through awareness of their properties, which by nature "force" us to think before others than about ourselves. And to get pleasure from it, many times greater than the pleasure from saturating your ego.
Already today, you can find out everything about the unconscious reasons for collective hostility between people, as well as personal reasons that make people hate each other. Traumas and "anchors" of childhood, peculiarities of the development of congenital vectors and the degree of realization of properties - all this forms our attitude towards other people. And there is also a huge misunderstanding of our neighbor, whom we often see through ourselves, trying to fit him into this vision. All this can be dealt with at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
Isn't it easier and more pleasant to live in a world without mutual anger and aggression? As if the soul is straightening. And you can start creating such a world only from yourself. When you absolutely understand and accept your neighbor, he feels it, and his attitude towards you also changes. This is what the feedback from those who passed this training and felt what it means to live without a "stone in their bosom":
Do you want to experience happiness for yourself? Register for a free online training by Yuri Burlan using the link and let the joy of communication into your life.