"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Can the memory of the torment of love be erased?
Can such different people be happy together, or is it their destiny - resume "not to agree"? They can, if the partners know themselves and understand each other.
Blessed are those who forget, for they do not remember their mistakes
Nietzsche
Collect all the things that are associated with the pain of parting with a loved one: photographs, his clothes, gifts, books, CDs, excerpts from diary entries. Put it all together with a whirlwind of emotions from the mere mention of his name and … press the button "clear memory". I would like to?
This is possible in the fantastic drama Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Let's take a look at the movie show together with Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology in order to find the unconscious reasons for the negative development of relations in a couple and the desire to remove everything connected with them with one click.
The heartbreaking motion picture starring Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet won an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay. The idea is so close to those who have felt at least once a clot of pain inside from the fact that the dearest person suddenly became a stranger.
Emotional "tangerine"
“You were standing near the water, I noticed you from afar. I remember I was immediately drawn to you. I thought: wow, how strange - a man stands with his back, and I am drawn to him"
Her blue hair, wide-open eyes, demeanor "as if we were already close," spontaneity and childishness - all this dumbfounded and at the same time hopelessly attracts him.
And how could it be otherwise when in front of you a demonstrative and emotional visual girl! A wave of eyelashes, like an accidental touch, a daring word - and you are in the pleasant fetters of her power. An impulsive beast or a restless child - while trying to give her at least some characterization, she suddenly occupies all the space of your heart.
No barriers or constraints - complete extroversion. In five minutes, she already sang a song from the cartoon, which she was teased as a child for the ridiculous name of Clementine, and told where she worked, and invited to drink, and told the whole night street that she would really be waiting for the call.
A hurricane of emotions - this is what characterizes the visual vector in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Its owners are bright, glowing with feelings. Soul wide open, all experiences for show. They breathe deeply only when they create emotional connections.
The visual Clementine needs a fountain of passions. And if he died for a minute, then she will create an emotional explosion herself. You can even from scratch: “I'm not cute, and I don’t want anyone to think I’m cute! Do you know other words ?! " After a moment: “I am pleased that you are so nice to me. The next second I may not like it, but now I am pleased."
An emotional swing tirelessly shakes the visual person, and he drags everyone around him. This happens when he preserves the entire volcano of his emotional capabilities for himself. On one side of the pendulum there is a sunny feeling “they love me”, on the other side there is a dark and terrible experience “nobody needs me”.
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan clearly shows that the visual eyes can shine with happiness not half, but 100% if they give their warmth to those around them, those who are many times worse - weak and defenseless, disadvantaged, in need of compassion and sympathy. The role of the visual person is to reduce hostility in society, to illuminate the path for those who cannot get out without help. With just one demand for self-love, the spectator condemns himself and those around him to a painful whirlwind of tearful hysterics and ostentatious scenes.
In my diary - emptiness, darkness
Joel is completely different. He is silent, shy, thoughtful. Already from the first phrase of the film, possessing systemic thinking, one can understand that the hero is a lonely, disillusioned sound engineer. "Today is a holiday that greeting card companies have come up with to make people feel lousy."
Reflecting on the pages of the diary, he admits that he cannot look a stranger in the eyes. This also indicates that he has an anal-optic ligament of vectors. Such people experience stress from everything new. Bad experiences from the past can make your natural shyness worse. And a behavioral scenario that is far from happiness develops in my head: it is better not to try, it still will not work.
- What if the ice breaks?
- Do you care now?
The skin-visual Clementine, seething with enthusiasm, woke the sound engineer from her lonely wanderings and showed him the stars, lying on the ice of the frozen river. Joel, on the wave of an unusual feeling of warmth inside him, even wrote in his diary that night: "So happy to be ready to die."
For a certain period, the visual vector of the young man gave him a sigh and filled with love. But the sound vector cannot be outwitted, it must be filled with conscious realization, otherwise problems with oneself and with others cannot be avoided.
Are we like those unfortunate couples who always want to regret? The Dinner Dead.
The visual girl craves contact with eyes, words, bodies and souls non-stop, and the sound guy claims that “endless chatter is not communication”. Such a contrast cannot be sustained in a pair without a scandal, if you do not understand the origins of your desires and the inner needs of your partner.
With systemic vector psychology, this becomes apparent: the visual Clementine and the sound Joel. A flurry of unrealized emotions on the one hand and a stream of tormenting thoughts, unanswered internal sound questions on the other. Endless chirping and silent concentration - as often happens in real life.
The laws of attraction
Can such different people be happy together, or is it their destiny - resume "not to agree"? They can, if the partners know themselves and understand each other.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows with an exact chain of cause-and-effect relationships that people with opposite properties are often attracted to couples. This is necessary for greater stability of couples in the constantly changing landscape of the external environment.
One can be dexterous and nimble, the second - assiduous and reliable, one - rich in emotions, the other - in ideas. With such mutual assistance by the properties of each other, a couple, as a unit of society, has much more chances for a worthy realization. Together.
So, the dermal person is drawn to the owner of the anal vector, the anal - to the urethral, urethral - to the skin. These vectors are responsible for libido and are called lower vectors in systemic vector psychology. But the rule also works along the upper vectors that set the direction of intellectual and spiritual interests.
For example, a biased visual vector tends to a partner with a sound one - it is not scary with him even in pitch darkness. This natural attraction of the spectator to the sound engineer is what we see in the film.
A couple is potentially the closest people in soul and body. But if we act at random in a relationship, then quarrels, resentments and accusations cannot be avoided. The general level of frustrations of everyone within themselves and the inability to interact with each other lead to mutual claims and inevitable disappointment.
It happens that we come up with natural and spiritual qualities - we are attracted to each other, we cannot stop talking, breathe in the common air. But the toggle-switch of some of the vectors is not full. And the breakdown of his inner dissatisfaction with life begins on the closest one. Someone throws tantrums and demands attention, someone yells, someone plugs their ears and withdraws into themselves.
And now she packed her things, and he could not find words to keep. Why endure such suffering? But the torment of parting with a loved one and a loved one can be even more difficult for some. They don't fit into the words that usually describe pain. Suffocate. They are drowning. Don't let me breathe. And there is a way out …
Memories of a past love - to destroy
Clementine Kruchinski has erased Joel Berisha from her memory. Please do not mention their relationship in her presence.
Ending a relationship is always very difficult for people with a visual vector. This is breaking the most precious thing - an emotional connection. With all the threads of his sensitive nature, the spectator becomes attached to his beloved and seeks to preserve love.
And if in the vector set there is also a family man, and a brownie - an anal vector, then this is also the value of the past, multiplied by the superimportance of pair relations as support, support and, potentially, a family.
Look into the deep eyes of your family, drown your hand in tousled hair, arrange a pillow fight, talk or be silent in an embrace - how can you do without it now? Such pain is unbearable to endure. Scientific and technological progress makes life and life easier for a person, so this problem in the film can be “dealt with” simply by erasing the former from the memory.
The emotional core of every memory must be destroyed.
The memory map has been compiled, it remains to go through it in the patient's head and leave nothing painful there. Joel is scared that this procedure could cause brain damage. His natural sound fear spoke in him - to go mad, to lose control of his thinking machine.
Already lying in a passed out, wrapped in sensors that remove from his memory the layer of life associated with Clementine, he tries to preserve the most tremulous memories. The soundman resists intrusion into the realm of his consciousness and is looking for a loophole to prevent this from happening.
We are ruled by the unconscious
Why do we build relationships in such a way that we want to forget them like a bad dream?
"Caring" office "Lacuna" carries out the procedure for clearing a person's memory no more than three times a month. Since its repetition is demanded, it means that the person again lives what he wants to later forget. That is, he does not manage his life, but goes along the "rake", and then erases what has caused pain again. Instead of the cause of suffering, only manifestations are removed.
The film shows not yet a real procedure, but its precursors are still present - various tranquilizers, affirmations about how beautiful life is, techniques of an altered state of consciousness. Why doesn't this work for our internal processes?
In the end, neither forgive, nor forget, nor alleviate painful mental anguish in such ways. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan clearly shows that external influence on the psyche cannot eradicate its deep problems, which means that the quality of life cannot be improved.
Intellectually, we can understand that it is time to stop what does not bring anything good to life. But unconsciously we go, like the blind, into the same jungle with the wrong person. It can also be an unconscious cutaneous scenario of failure, which in women is mainly manifested in relationships with men. And the visual is the usual, but such a limited way of extracting emotions by hysterics. And sound withdrawal into oneself instead of mutual dissolution in a partner. And the transfer of resentment for the betrayal of a loved one to all subsequent relationships with a known ending.
The vector reasons for the unsuccessful development of relations may be different, but the universal principle of their normalization is the same - a deep understanding of the reasons for their actions and the behavior of a partner. The only effective way to build a happy relationship is to understand unconscious mental processes. A systematic look inside the structure of the human psyche gives a clear idea of how to get out of a scenario that does not bring joy, and, finally, consciously write your own.
Why does external influence on memory processes not work?
Technologies of intervention in memory do not save a person from the need to understand himself and his partner.
Human memory has vector features:
- the visual one remembers emotions, impressions, smells;
- anal - every detail of information received, experienced;
- sound - abstractions, meanings;
- cutaneous - touch, rhythms.
Letting go, forgetting and forgiving is the hardest thing for people with an anal-visual ligament of vectors. The presence of the anal vector binds to everything familiar and familiar and endows the past with better qualities a priori than the present and even more so the future. And the owner of the visual vector does not see the meaning of life without love. He tries to hide from fear at least with torn scraps of emotional experiences.
But when the past is sucked into a swamp of resentment, and love has turned into an endless hysteria, I deliberately want to get rid of it, but it doesn't work out. An illustrative example of this in the film is a secretary who, even having erased her memories, continues her unconscious scenario and, for the first time, falls in love with a married boss again and again.
Memory can be filled with happiness
The way out of the vicious circle is in the awareness and realization of your properties. When the features given to us by nature are implemented adequately in society, then they do not turn life as a couple into torture. The anal vector does not accumulate grievances, using the potential of its phenomenal memory to transfer knowledge. Sound - does not go into a dead end of obsession with oneself, but on the basis of contact with people gives birth to new ingenious thought forms. The visual one does not cry for no reason, does not influence the partner with emotional blackmail, but uses his sensuality, giving love and participation to others.
For example, a visual girl has very effective and pleasant interaction tools for both. By nature, such a girl instinctively knows how to create a delicate, binding soulful lace in a pair. She shares her feelings sincerely, lively, almost childishly, and the man follows her, picks up a wave of trust and opens up himself. It's just that in this direction with relations you need to work together.
Whether the second attempt at dermal-visual Clementine and sound Joel will be a happy second is no one knows. Just as it is impossible to be sure in any relationship in which people do not understand either the other or themselves. We are looking for a way to erase memory, delete errors and old "files" in the trash, plug the pain, but the unconscious scenario repeats again.
Confidence in strong inspiring happiness in a couple gives only an accurate vision of the inner characteristics of a loved one. This skill is acquired during trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
To watch dramas in movies, but not be their heroes in your own life, register for a free online training on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan by the link.
And it's better just two of us.
