Clean up your room immediately
With a slight feeling of bitterness, I always listen to such revelations, especially regarding the approach to children, their upbringing. What is completely obvious and understandable to anyone who has undergone training turns out to be an insoluble mystery for ignorant people.
On a warm autumn day, a "party" gathered on the playground, as usual. All mothers and children have known each other for a long time, and the topics of daily conversations hardly go beyond the framework of "how my day ate, played, what he said." The monotony of parenting everyday life and such conversations thanks to the training System-vector psychology transformed for me into fascinating systemic observations.
Today we are talking about children and cleaning. The mothers were divided into two camps. Some were worried that the child did not want to get used to order at all: collecting his things, folding toys, helping around the house. Okay, while he is still quite small, and you have to literally close on the heels of local accidents - spilled juice, the remains of cookies, pencils, things thrown out of the closet … "And what to do when a child of a quite conscious age is not re-educated in any way", - they lamented …
Others brushed aside in confusion: "From an early age it was necessary to teach."
- Here is mine, for example, such a neat, if he sees a crumb on the floor, he immediately carries it to the trash, and even with a small speck he would never wear clothes, - one of them proudly declared. She probably considered it her own merit …
- And I can repeat to my own ten times: "Take things away, you will play later," and he won't lead his ear until I scream.
With a slight feeling of bitterness, I always listen to such revelations, especially regarding the approach to children, their upbringing. What is completely obvious and understandable to anyone who has undergone training turns out to be an insoluble mystery for ignorant people.
It is known that innate qualities dictate behavior, perception, and capabilities, in the end. In the article "The War of Sloth and Cleanliness," we talked about who and why has the ability and desire to clean the house, and that others are only adapting the need to maintain order.
This is as true for children as it is for adults. A child with anal vector will be happy to help mommy around the house. Obedient and diligent by nature, he very well accepts the need to restore order. It is difficult for him to take the first step, but if his mother directs and suggests the next action, he gladly fulfills her request. It is even useful for him - such a social load, which, moreover, well develops his properties: accuracy, quality, orderliness.
The main thing is not to overdo it with praise, so as not to instill in such a child the "good boy" (or "good girl") complex. This is completely useless.
With the rest of the vectors, things are more complicated, because their innate abilities are directed towards other tasks. And only an absolute understanding of the vectorial assignment gives parents an idea of what and to what level can be developed in a child, and what will not work, even though you have been studying with him all your life.
As for children with a skin vector - active, mobile, impetuous, then, of course, putting cleanliness and order is not at all their strong point. What tricks such a child will not come up with just to evade cleaning. Even realizing the inevitability of an unpleasant process, he will try to put things in corners as soon as possible and create the appearance of order, after which he will go about his business with a sense of accomplishment. Alas, you can't wait for quality from them.
Well, you should not be angry with them, as well as zealous in re-education. It will be much more effective, even in such an activity as cleaning, to use their innate qualities, creating adequate pressure on them and thereby developing them.
It is easy to captivate a skin child, if you arrange cleaning in a race, for a while or for a fee, it can be included as a mandatory item in the schedule or described as a clear sequence of actions - this is just a small fraction of what you can think of using skin qualities. There are many options here, but it is important to feel what will be more appropriate and closer to your child at the moment.
So it is with the rest of the vectors - the principle, I think, is clear. How nice it will be for a child with a visual vector not to clean up, but to “bring beauty” or create conditions for “good fairies” to fly to him at night, who only fly into clean rooms.
If parents with an anal vector are not fixated on order, if they see the potential of the child and direct him in the right direction, then there is no problem at all.
And as for those mothers from the site, they have already signed up for free lectures.
System specialist comment
Already two-three-year-old children demonstrate completely different behavior, depending on their vector set. It's funny to see how everything happens the way Yuri Burlan describes it at the training in System-Vector Psychology.
Here we have an anal girl of three years old. She helps mom around the house. Not because mom asks, but because she herself likes it. I like to watch how my mother cleans up, how all the specks are carefully wiped off the table. Everything becomes clean before her eyes and she has a desire to do the same. And now, in the kindergarten, we observe how this little girl rubs the table with great zeal - as if she was washing it.
Not only girls, but also boys with an anal vector behave the same way. Here the anal boy asks to put a stool for him so that he can wash the dishes.
It is clear that you need to encourage such actions of your anal child. He has an innate desire for cleanliness and getting things done. So that not a speck was left, everything was perfectly clean. Be sure to praise your child for his work, for his efforts. Speak directly with these key words for the anal: “Well done, how you are trying!”, “What a fine fellow, that you brought it to the end!”, “How well you cleaned, I will tell everyone what a neat good child I have!”, Stroke him on the head.
However, be careful - don't overdo it with praise! There is no need to praise a child two hundred times for what he has been doing for a long time. It is absurd to reward a seven-year-old first grader for being able to dress independently. As soon as the child began to calmly perform one task - set the next one, go for promotion, for development. Praise for an anal child should always be deserved and adequate to his efforts.
Skin babies are really different. The main thing in their upbringing is a flexible, like skin in good condition, a system of rewards and punishments. On the one hand, a child must clearly understand what sanctions will follow if, for example, he does not clean his room. “We have new toys, but since you are throwing these out too, we will not give you new ones yet”, “Okay, then we will take away all the toys ourselves. But you can't play with them anymore until you want to put things in order."
On the other hand, the child must understand what kind of reward awaits him if he fulfills the necessary. "If you clean well all week, we'll buy you a new toy." Be sure to reward the child if he did what was required of him. Take them to the amusement park or visit a friend on weekends, buy the promised toy. Be careful and always keep your promises! Otherwise, after a short time, you will lose an important lever of influence on your child, and he will receive a negative experience for life.
The main thing here is not to convey. Perceiving everything through their anality, parents often force their children to finish the cleaning "to the end", and until everything is removed, it will not go anywhere. However, it is important to understand that if for an anal child "to the end" carries a special meaning, a special value, then for a dermal child this is not so, with him ingenuity is needed. Began to clean up - well done. The first time I put two toys back in place - great, you helped him with the rest. The second time - notice what has not been removed yet. Be flexible and consistent.
It is important to initially organize the space correctly, to allocate a place for convenient placement of toys. If you have them all dumped into the basket and this is considered cleaning, then the child will not learn how to clean. Give him shelves.
The visual child, in addition to what has already been said, is well stimulated by the keywords: “Look how beautiful our room is now” or “Look, each toy has its own house, it lives there. When a toy is stepped on the floor, it cries "," Oh, poor doll, it lies on the floor, let's pick it up and put it on the shelf, it will be fine there."
Knowing the vector set of your child, you already understand how to interact with him, what keywords to say to him, and so on. Show your imagination based on accurate knowledge, then communication with the child will be useful and developing for him and, undoubtedly, pleasant for both of you.
