Depression and aggression: crisis management of yourself
Crowds of "caring and not indifferent" who are constantly crawling into your soul, trying to pull somewhere, to impose on you their worthless values. Everyone needs something from me, and at such moments I can't control myself: I just want to shout or slap me on the head. “Go your way! Leave me alone…"
"God, how everyone got me!" - I shout for the umpteenth time, loudly slam the door and hide in the bowels of my room. How enraged I am by all these people who always need something from me, who cannot even give me peace of mind to be alone, in silence. I don’t know if this is aggression, depression or something else … But lately I literally can't find a place for myself.
Wherever I go, there are these faces everywhere, anxiously asking, “Are you feeling bad? What's the matter? Does something hurt? " I just want to shout: “YES! It hurts! I have a headache … from you and your questions. My soul hurts, do you understand?"
I feel bad. I do not know what happened to me. I'm going crazy. I just can't figure out who I am and why I am here. Why am I exactly me? Is there a God, or is everything we believe is actually someone's invention? What will happen after death? It is very scary to wake up one day and realize that your whole life is a dull, meaningless and aimless existence.
It is not clear why it takes so long to trample the earth, if one fine moment you realize that all this is a deception, farce, an illusion. Maybe I'm just sleeping deeply somewhere else and this world is only dreaming of me? Because everything is too absurd around and resembles a long exhausting dream.
To everything else are added the crowds of "caring and not indifferent" who constantly crawl into your soul, trying to pull somewhere, to impose on you their worthless values. Everyone needs something from me, and at such moments I can't control myself: I just want to shout or slap me on the head. “Go your way! Leave me alone…"
They say I am aggressive and that it is depression. I don't know what I have: depression and aggression or aggression and depression, but the fact remains - I feel lousy. Life is so dull and dreary that I am simply surprised how others manage to rejoice at something, strive for something, dream …
I would like to live on the moon, where absolute silence reigns and there is not a soul - not a single annoying human being. I have to attend this hated work, listen to the instructions of my ancestors and "friends" who say: "You need to live, you need to set goals, build a career, get married, have children." I don't want any of this. I have no reason to live or strive. I want to bury myself in a corner so that no one touches, and sleep-sleep-sleep … Only in my sleep I am calm like a tank: I don't say nasty things to my loved ones, I don't break things and I don't shout.
Depression, aggression … what is happening to me and how can I live with it?
How to get rid of such conditions? How to understand that you need to get rid of them at all, that there is something outside of this? Something real that brings satisfaction of a completely different kind. Understanding is not just an attempt to jam your inner search, being disappointed in everything, breaking down on others.
It is impossible to do this on your own. Yes, when someone tells the sound engineer that he is depressed, he will just laugh in the person's face. Who is this sound engineer? This is where the fun begins …
At the training "System Vector Psychology" I learned: I have this very sound vector - always suffering and not finding peace. Until he finds the answers to the most important questions for him. What are these questions? About the meaning of life, of course, about the universe, about God. The same "Why do we live?"
Surprisingly, only 5% of all people really think about these questions - the owners of the sound vector. The rest of the people do not care about these searches - they have other, no less important functions and roles. The sound scientist, by nature, has been assigned a mission - to cognize the metaphysical world. That is why he is naturally endowed with abstract intelligence: the ability to grasp the meanings.
Every person wants to be happy. And happiness brings us the satisfaction of our desires. But sound desires are not easy to satisfy. Especially now, when, it would seem, everything is known, the answers have been found to everything, but not the very same questions. You cannot touch the metaphysical world with your finger, and you cannot see it through a microscope. So how to comprehend it?
So, if I, an ordinary sound person, do not satisfy my desires, that is, I do not receive answers to my questions, then they grow and grow in the depths of my I in the form of emptiness and lack, haunt me with insomnia and headaches.
Depression is exactly the same state when the whole nature of the sound engineer yells at him: “Until you know the meaning of life, I refuse to function - I refuse to receive joy, I refuse to eat, sleep, and experience other desires. Whether you burst or jump out the window! After all, the sound vector is dominant - its desires need to be filled in the first place, not allowing to be distracted by anything else.
Depression is followed by aggression. Aggression towards yourself and towards the world around you is a reaction to the unbearable suffering that a person with a sound vector experiences inside. And you want to hide, lock yourself up, go to a monastery … or, even worse, blow this lousy world to hell! But what's the point: it will only get worse. In captivity, the sound engineer can completely lose touch with reality.
It turns out that in a person with a sound vector, aggression and depression are often interconnected - when it is so bad that monsters climb out from the inside and take on ugly forms. The soundman pushes others away, but at the same time screams for help. Unfortunately, it is often at this moment that everyone turns away from him, and then the end is very sad.
In fact, it's easy for me to talk about all this now, because two years have passed since I have not experienced any depression or aggression. I am calm and balanced. I no longer feel the urge to lash out at my loved ones.
And all because at one fine moment I received answers to my questions. Yes, yes, I finally found what I was looking for, and gained not only the meaning of life, but also the meaningfulness of being. Sounds loud, but that doesn't mean the search is over. This means that I stopped bumping into dead ends and saw a straight illuminated path, which was shown to me by systemic-vector psychology, which so subtly and clearly felt my states and experiences.
Many more people who have been trained by Yuri Burlan write about this:
I came to the training in October 2012 in a terrible state: in mortal anguish, literally; with incredible hatred for all people; with huge setbacks at that time in life … and also with many nuances, not even so noticeable against the background of a general PASMURY state.
… Such shocks began to happen in life. Everything began to improve in some miraculous way, of course, not all at once, gradually everything, but on the whole, IMPROVED: the feeling of envy passed, dissatisfaction with oneself, contempt, resentment towards parents, hatred of people passed !!! Suicidal thoughts are gone !!! Some even small desires, which I had dreamed of all my life, began to come true, etc. etc. Everything is getting better and getting better every day, and most importantly, inner harmony has come. So, whoever is thinking about attending the training, do not delay the personal luck knocking on your door …
Ekaterina I., choreographer Read the full text of the result For those who have doubts: there was a deep depression for more than 5 years, various psychologists, migraines, analgesics, hatred of the whole world, computer, death metal, there was only one step left to commit suicide. After the lectures of the SVP - I am a different, LIVING person! Smile, sports, painting again, I can NOT get angry! I constantly note the vectors in myself and those around me, I already roughly imagine what to expect from whom. Expect absolutely calmly … Tatiana K. Read the full text of the result
My life has lost all meaning, and I despaired of finding it. He completely closed himself in himself, cut himself off from the world, from communication. If you had to come into contact with someone, it was only when absolutely necessary, if it was impossible to avoid it. It seemed that life, it passes, goes, but not with me, but somewhere "there" … where I am not. And the feeling of complete helplessness and hopelessness … it was terrible. In a sense, I was on the edge … I was lucky, they gave me a link to the training.
… I got a direction in my life. Desires begin to appear, I began to revive. I became comfortable with myself. I understood my nature, my essence. My behavior became clear to me. Absolutely any moments of my life are laid out on the shelves and are visible at a glance, become obvious. And I'm not worried about this anymore. I have become much more balanced or something. Gone is a huge internal tension! Just colossal …
Vladimir P., computer economist Read the full text of the result
If you are experiencing similar conditions, there is reason to think. Remember: the world around you is just a reflection of your difficult conditions, your aggression and depression. And if you're looking for the magic button that will change the world, you will find it in three free introductory lectures on Vector Systems Psychology. Here it is: Register.
