Collective child suicide of the new generation
How to justify child suicide? The whole horror is that we not only do not imagine the true reasons for teenage suicide, we sometimes do not even know who actually lives next to us under the code name "son" or "daughter".
There are only murders in the world, remember.
There are no suicides at all.
E. Evtushenko
Suicide is the final act in an unbearable life drama. The last point in the oppressive emptiness of inexpressible despair. Trying to understand the suicide, we justify his act as an incurable disease, bereavement, indelible shame. How to justify child suicide? How to justify yourself in front of a 9-year-old boy with a noose around his neck? What to smash in yourself to return the daughter who stepped out of the window? There is no excuse and no understanding. We adults are always to blame for teenage suicide. Every year we wash ourselves in the blood of 1,500 suicidal children. 4000 of our children are trying to commit suicide. Helpless attempts, called the prevention of adolescent suicide, are not worth mentioning because of their absolute ineffectiveness, the reasons for which are below.
When the irreparable happened, the question arises, what was not given? What did the child lack? A dysfunctional family explains everything. Well-being, then, from boredom, from fat, from stupidity. We would have their problems! The whole horror is that we not only do not imagine the true reasons for teenage suicide, we sometimes do not even know who actually lives next to us under the code name "son" or "daughter". The conflict between fathers and children, stuck in the teeth since school, is no longer the benevolent Turgenev, this is an abyss between generations, where our children fly, who do not want to live with us on this earth. A flurry of teenage suicides swept Russia in early 2012. Why do we devour our children? Let's try to figure it out.
Reasons for teenage suicide, or How to fly a fish to the middle of the Dnieper
Mentally, we and our children belong to different species, like fish and birds. It is very difficult to accept this axiom. Especially in Russia, where overprotection of children up to adulthood is the norm of life. We say: "My child" - we mean: "The same as me." Meanwhile, the psyche of each person has a clearly expressed unique structure. Irreversible degenerative changes in this structure lead to adolescent suicides. Consequently, the prevention of suicide in children and adolescents should be built taking into account the individual mental structure received by a person from birth, the degree of its development before puberty and implementation after.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan demonstratively demonstrates the cardinal differences in the psyche of parents and children through the eight-dimensional matrix of the mental unconscious. A unique combination of eight possible sets of desires and the personality traits necessary for their fulfillment determines a person's life scenario and is not inherited. Failure to fulfill a true desire can lead to the most undesirable consequences, up to the destruction of the entire matrix and the development of a desire for suicide. To differentiate the mental components of your child, or, speaking in terms of system-vector psychology, to determine its vector set is extremely important for the correct development, upbringing and happy life of our children. Timely systemic diagnostics of negative mental states helps to avoid suicide.
The lower vectors appear in the earliest childhood. So, already up to a year, a systemically thinking mother can confidently determine whether fate has sent her an anal or skin child. Then, depending on individual characteristics, the signs of others are determined, including the upper vectors, first of all, sight or sound. Thus, systemic knowledge helps not only to adequately pass the thresholds of early childhood, but also to thoroughly prepare for the drama of puberty. This is the same straw that is laid in advance, systemically it is possible.
I was not praised. I hanged myself
In a general sense, the task of developing a child in childhood is to adequately reach puberty. It is in adolescence that a person brings out the whole bouquet of his vectors in the development that we, parents, provided for him in childhood. It will no longer be possible to develop vectors after the end of puberty, therefore it is so important to have time for these 12-15 years to give the maximum for each vector shortage. It is the alpha and omega of adolescent suicide prevention. In special cases, the period available to parents is reduced to 9 years. The delay of death is similar here in the literal sense of the word.
When we talk about desires and shortages, about filling them, we are not talking about fulfilling any whim that has just arisen. Only true desires in the psychic of a given child are meant. For example, in the anal vector it will be a desire to complete what was started to the end, a desire for cleanliness, order, systematization (for example, toys), there will be a lack of a positive assessment of one's work (praise). In the skin, true desires will be movement, changes of states, competition, tactile caresses, there will be a lack of a regime, a reasonable restriction.
Only from the list it is clear how different the desires of mentally different children are, and this is just a small fraction of the two lower vectors! Filling such desires is not a whim, but a vital necessity. Ignoring the child's true desire is extremely painful for him and leads to the underdevelopment of the vector, which means to a failure in the archetype, and, as a result, to a breakdown of the life scenario up to child suicide. There are no trifles here, because it is in early childhood that the reasons for suicide among adolescents lie, and not in whether or not they were allowed to go to the disco yesterday, or whether they bought a new phone the third day or not.
The psychology of suicide systemically
Let's start with the group most at risk - the guys with the sound vector. An anal-sound child without pronounced congenital pathologies of development is the dream of a modern busy mother. He is quiet, inactive, preoccupied with himself, does not distract or bother. It would seem, live and rejoice such a mother. But there is no peace under the olives. Mom is in a hurry, and the baby is swarming, the mother is screaming, and the baby, it seems, does not hear, or hears, but does not react … Yes, he simply ignores Mom! On the pope! On the back of the head! It doesn't hurt, God forbid, slightly! Here the slap is just a tactile reinforcement of the slogan: “Hurry, come on, come on! What are you braiding about? " We also force the sound effect, shouting: "I'm asking you!"
Such is the daily routine. Does it make sense to look here for the reasons for suicide of adolescents, the baby is still three to five years old? Of course there is. Because this is where the reasons lie, and not under the lamp of today's apocalypse, where we are trying to find them, but we only find our rationalizations: the son committed suicide because the girl refused to go to the cinema with him. The girl is to blame. It is too late to start suicide prevention at school, too late, the accumulation of reasons to commit suicide begins much earlier.
Childhood suicide for no reason is a sign of a fool parent
An annoying routine for a skin mother can become the torment of hell for an anal-sound baby, sinking deeper and deeper into a soundproof shell, more and more hopelessly bogged down in a stupor. While he is small, he does not know how to clearly express his true desires, and it is difficult to understand them without systemic knowledge. And what kind of desire is it - to sit on the priest, when "at his age I drove in the yard all day." I quickly tied my shoelaces and march forward! It happens not that in a day - for weeks the child does not hear a single encouraging word, not a single praise that is vital for him.
Parents are always unhappy. They quickly tie their shoelaces, and this one … There is nothing to praise this one. A child will enter adolescence with a persistent desire to commit "suicide for no reason", and in fact, to get rid of himself, so unfit, imperfect, so as not to hear constant squeals and screams in his address. The first unsuccessful experience of communication with the opposite sex will be only the last straw that overflowed the cup of anal-sound patience.
The opposite situation is a dermal baby and an anal-sound mother. A nimble and nimble flickering child is a constant source of irritation for a leisurely self-absorbed mother. Slap after slap, the child has to get used to the pain, adapt to it. The skin vector is a genius of adaptation to the landscape, even pain can learn to accept it as pleasure. What is there to do? There remains masochism. Sometimes it seems that the skin child is playing pranks on purpose, as if asking for a slap. It doesn't seem that it is.
The other side of the skin archetype is stealing. A failure in the archetype in the absence of an adequate prohibition in the skin (and the sound mother is not up to adequate prohibitions, keep quiet and do not run - the main thing) is manifested by petty thefts. Tsap and not what should be in place. Slap! Theft again. So ad infinitum. Rather, until puberty. The thief comes to school. They are caught by the hand. Failure scenario in action. Mom will find out in the evening and will beat again! Jonah! Better out the window. Any adaptation is not limitless, even skin adaptation. And it began with an "innocent" slap for a piece of candy that was taken away without asking. How many cases of adolescent suicide have their roots in banal, routine parenting slaps! We will not consider cases of deliberate child abuse, sadism of parents as obvious.
When the only way out is to fall into the void outside the window
The main percentage of children who commit suicide are sound. The true lack of a sound vector is silence. The modern city leaves little room for filling such a shortage. Parents do their bit by shouting and swearing with or without it. Swearing may not even be directed at the child, parents can yell at each other, this is equally intolerable for a sound child, he can lose hearing on a physical level, or he can become a secondary autistic. Screaming at home is the first step to suicide in teenage audio professionals.
The output is seen in the computer, on the network. Buried in and there is nothing around. However, this is where the trap lies! When the computer turns into an end in itself, there is a substitution of meanings. Instead of focusing on solving some positive problem, the teenager focuses on a void that can be filled with anything. Sound children easily form groups, often destructive, if there is a leader offering an idea. Drugs often become such an "idea". The problem of adolescent drug addiction is beyond the scope of this article, but it is necessary to mention it as one of the most important causes of suicide among young people.
Under the influence of drugs, first of all, sound and urethral children, as well as those who carry both of these vectors, fall. The use of drugs in itself can be interpreted as a delayed suicide, a program for self-destruction. The soundman destroys his body in order to avoid incomparably greater pain - mental pain. The urethral is because it sees no boundaries. The latter burn out especially quickly on drugs. If you are raising a urethral sound professional, you should be especially wary of adolescent suicide. The education of the urethral child is described in detail on the portal. The main aspect of the prevention of suicide in urethral adolescents is the creation of the first systemic flock around them - a family where the urethral, although small, is a leader.
I will die and everyone will remain
I will especially dwell on another type of teenage suicide. Such suicides are committed by children with not too developed visual vector or vision in fear. System-vector psychology considers the visual vector in development from fear for oneself into fear for others, that is, into love. When the visual adolescent reaches puberty, he must go from the childhood state of "love me" to the state of "love."
If the visual vector is well developed, parents have tried, such a transition occurs gently. A teenager is experiencing a flurry of love, is constantly in an incredible cycle of sympathy, learns first love. For many, this time will be remembered for a lifetime. In the case of underdevelopment of the visual vector, the cause of which may be intimidation in childhood, in particular, reading scary fairy tales, a teenager cannot experience love for anyone but himself.
He sees that people around him love each other and imitates attempts, but does not get what he wants. They don't like him. Or it seems to him that they love a little. The viewer's imagination has no boundaries. A sidelong glance, not that facial expression, and then the dreamer will finish painting whatever. Such fantasies are often the cause of suicide among young people. Often the spectators imitate suicide, knowingly not intending to bring the matter to the end. This is the highest form of self-love demand - blackmail. The suicide blackmailer walks on the razor's edge, sometimes his calculation does not work and it is not possible to save him. And I just wanted to scare. Himself in fear, and brings out only fear.
A visual child may throw himself down from the roof out of fear of punishment for some (often imaginary!) Offense. The girl thought she was pregnant. The boy decided that his father was flirting with his girlfriend. The fear of being in an insoluble situation, of looking ugly, pushes a suspicious child to a last resort. Love is a true lack only in vision, if the viewer does not receive love, and most importantly, does not know how to give it, he is unhappy to the extreme, which means he is capable of suicide. Visual suicides are arranged with theatrical effect - beautiful gifts for relatives, death notes with hearts, sometimes the event is even captured on video.
Love me while i'm alive
What does it mean to love a child? Marina Tsvetaeva said that to love means to see a person the way God intended him. It's hard to say better. To see your child not as an excellent student Petya and not as an athlete-discharger Vova, not even as himself in an improved edition, but to see his mental in the system of vectors. Loving a child means giving to him according to true shortages in each vector, and not paying off with gifts. To love a child means to restrict him when necessary, and when necessary - to make him responsible for others, to praise if he is worthy of praise, to impose a reasonable prohibition on the one who needs prohibitions.
True love for a child, not a hypocrisy, is the best prevention of suicide among adolescents. The task of parents is to have time in a moment in a dozen years to develop a person so that he can fully realize himself in life and become what God intended him, that is, happy. Vector systems psychology makes this titanic task a fun game. Play by the Creator's rules.
