Natural parenting
Nowadays it is fashionable to be an adherent of natural parenting. The older generation, observing new trends in the upbringing of children, as a rule, does not approve of them and condemns them in every possible way. They are politely reminded: “We have not come up with anything, this is an experience from the past. From the forgotten old."
How to make an elephant out of a fly? How to turn a theory into an axiom that does not require proof? How to invent a wheel rounder than the existing one? The answers to this are well known to proponents of natural parenting. Let's try, based on the data of modern psychology - the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, - to figure out what benefits and harms this theory of parenting is fraught with.
Who are "natural scientists"
Nowadays it is fashionable to be an adherent of natural parenting. The older generation, observing new trends in the upbringing of children, as a rule, does not approve of them and condemns them in every possible way. They are politely reminded: “We have not come up with anything, this is an experience from the past. From the forgotten old."
What do the basic postulates of "natural scientists" say?
- All information about children, their upbringing is laid by the wise nature in every parent. It is enough to listen to your intuition - and that's it. No problems. Not with breastfeeding, not with a sound baby's sleep, not with potty training. Natural instincts will always prompt the right way to solve any problem of raising a child.
- Let the specialists educate their children. You have your own head, your own child, and you know best how to deal with him.
- Society manipulates the feelings and experiences of parents. Imposes the use of mixtures, pacifiers, diapers, strollers, toys through advertising.
- Raising a toddler gives parents an amazing chance to raise themselves. Anew. With love. Free yourself from the prohibitions of the past, become happy and free.
- The child should be born at home. Eat breast milk up to self-excommunication, sleep with your parents, spend a lot of time in a sling.
- Refusal of the mother from medication during childbirth and from vaccinations for the baby.
It is believed that the natural approach to parenting contributes to the establishment of a close emotional bond with the child. Sling helps a young mother to lead an active life, to communicate fruitfully, to do what she loves.
The pitfalls of natural parenting
It would seem that the natural method of education should not cause controversy. The deceptiveness of the impression of simplicity and accessibility for each family is revealed after the first steps along the path of natural parenting.
For example, in emergency situations, such as a child's illness, a curious detail emerges: mothers who have erected this theory on a pedestal, disaccustomed to think outside the theory of natural parenting. They are sure that parental instinct does not fail. If it suggests that decoctions of chamomile, calendula and a couple of coffee will help with the daughter's illness, then it will be so. Alas, the price of the delusion of one such mother was the life of her baby.
The method of natural education, it turns out, is also a framework from which its supporters seem to be trying to get away. Do this, do this - and a happy, healthy, harmoniously developed baby will grow up. Mothers try, follow the instructions exactly, but the results show that this was just one path out of a thousand possible.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan never gives general advice, since they do not exist. Every person, every child is born with a certain vector set, and for his correct upbringing it is necessary to know what kind of vectors they are, what properties, peculiarities of thinking they are characterized by. Only then will parents be able to choose the best upbringing method for their particular child. At the same time, it is important for the parent himself to be aware of his mental characteristics, not to fill his mental deficiencies at the expense of the child, to understand the difference between his inner world and the world of his child.
In addition, taking into account the understanding of the difference between people, it becomes clear that not all parents are naturally endowed with a parental instinct. Some just don't have it. For example, skin-visual women in their species role were not mothers, they were nulliparous females in the primitive era and only thanks to the development of modern medicine can today give birth to children, and their fear of being a mother, the fear of a baby has not disappeared anywhere.
Nature is wise in everything. We want to live in harmony with nature - a wonderful slogan of natural parenting. The only question is how much we know human nature, how much we hear the voice of nature (and can we hear it?). The training "System-vector psychology" for the first time differentiates people by eight vectors, innate mental properties. A person's cognition of his own nature begins with the recognition of his vectors. The acquisition of systemic thinking allows you to clear your consciousness from the husk of stereotypes alien to your nature and contributes to the perception of the child by the parents as an individual person with their own mental characteristics, their own abilities that require a special approach of upbringing.
We have long lived in a world created by man. Cars, multi-storey buildings, computers are an unnatural habitat. Are we ready to give up the benefits of civilization and return back to nature in the literal sense, and should we do this? Refusal from diapers, from strollers, from artificial nutrition - does this really bring us closer to nature and allow us to raise a happy and healthy child? Living in a modern society and at the same time creating an artificial environment for a child (without technology, etc.) means preventing the child from mastering the world in which he was born. Helping a child adapt in society, in the modern landscape is one of the important tasks facing parents.
A child will have to live not in an isolated and artificial environment created by parents, but in the real world. The time allotted by nature to develop the necessary skills for the child's interaction with the environment is limited. The stories of the Mowgli children illustrate this.
Many fans of Jean Ledloff's book "How to Raise a Happy Child" perceive the principle of continuity, naturalness in education as a dogma. Like driving without brakes. This often leads to incredible conclusions. For example, like this: "the child was born in water, in an unnatural environment, so he will be abnormal."
We understand systematically: what is natural for one person is not at all natural for another. How the child was born does not affect its vector set, its internal properties. This can affect the development of the baby's vectors in the event of birth trauma.
Buy Sell
The accusation against manufacturers of baby products of manipulating parental hopes and desires is not impressive, not only because natural parenting is a very profitable occupation (certified breastfeeding consultants, sling consultants have turned helping young mothers into a successful business), but because we today we live in a consumer society where money is a completely normal equivalent to the exchange of goods and services. Each of us wants to eat, drink, live in normal conditions, and this requires money.
Whether a breastfeeding consultant or a formula manufacturer makes money, it doesn't matter if people buy what they want. The development of a child is influenced to a greater extent by how his parents bring him up, how they treat him, and to a lesser extent, what he eats and whether he wears diapers.
