Depression on maternity leave: why is motherhood not a joy?
A modern woman is no longer a hybrid of a housewife with a birthing machine, she also strives to realize herself. A woman often determines the signs of depression in her maternity leave due to the fact that she temporarily loses the breadth of application, the realization of her innate properties.
How to compensate for this lack of implementation during maternity leave?
How do you like advertising for baby food or diapers? The main role is always a happy mother with a smiling toddler in her arms. Well, this is not about me. Sometimes even thoughts about their own inferiority creep in: everyone has the happiness of motherhood, and I have depression on maternity leave.
How to deal with maternity depression and how realistic is it in general? I have already tried a dozen recommendations from various "mother" forums, but all to no avail. Maybe I'll never be able to become a normal mother?
Depression on Maternity Leave: Comments from a Systems Psychologist
It is not surprising that the same, standard for all recommendations are not very effective. After all, the psyche of each person has its own innate properties and characteristics. We feel happy when we fully realize among other people the talents that nature has awarded us with.
A modern woman is no longer a hybrid of a housewife with a birthing machine, she also strives to realize herself. A woman often determines the signs of depression in her maternity leave due to the fact that she temporarily loses the breadth of application, the realization of her innate properties.
Finding ways to compensate for this lack is quite possible. But as a base, you need to rely on accurate knowledge about the structure of your psyche in order to understand which recommendations are right for you, and which ones can be harmful and will only aggravate depression on maternity leave.
The fact is that after going on maternity leave, a relatively small percentage of women experience genuine depression. But many are experiencing various shortcomings, which they denote with this word.
We will understand specific life situations using the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Maternity depression in sociable and sensitive women
Please help, I don't know how to cope with maternity depression. My baby is only 4 months old, I'm on maternity leave, and depression has seriously tortured me. The three of us live with my husband and son. But our dad is at work all day, I don't even have anyone to talk to. When I got married, I moved to his city, but neither my relatives nor him are here. Probably, loneliness affected me so much that I got depressed on maternity leave. Every day fears prevail: I am afraid for my husband, for myself, for the child. I'm afraid something bad will happen. How to overcome depression in a woman on maternity leave, are there any effective ways? And how normal is this condition, perhaps it should be treated with medications or some folk remedies for depression should be used?
System-vector psychology explains that there are people among us who have a special emotionality and sensitivity. They are carriers of the visual vector, natural extroverts, open and sociable. They aim to build emotional bonds with other people.
In women with such properties, forced self-isolation and lack of communication on maternity leave do not cause depression, but a state of emotional shortages, which a woman often defines as depression on maternity leave.
The spectator's emotional range is too large to be limited only to the child and evening communication with her husband. As a result of such a limitation, the owner of the visual vector increases anxiety, tearfulness, fears multiply, tantrums and even panic attacks may occur. The reason is the lack of adequate implementation of its widest emotional range.
Spectators love to enjoy beauty and aesthetics, so they manage to improve their condition over a short distance with the help of:
- home decoration, creating a beautiful interior;
- hobbies for photography or painting (for example, while walking with a child);
- Internet communication on any forums of interest.
Any advice that can further lock them in loneliness (for example, meditation, focusing on oneself) is categorically unsuitable for the owners of the visual vector.
However, over time, dissatisfaction grows, and communication with living people in any case becomes vital. You can use the internet as a connecting thread to meet other people.
The spectator can use her properties to the maximum in the field of volunteer work, helping the disabled and sick people. There, her vast emotional range is fully utilized through empathy and empathy.
It is clear that this is not easy to implement with a child in your arms. But it is quite possible to find through the Internet community in your city, which is engaged in such activities, and take part as much as possible. Or organize, for example, a collection of things for the orphanage, etc. on the mommies' forum.
Depression on maternity leave: when monotony and routine tortured
This is just a nightmare. Diapers, undershirts, porridge-purees, dirty pants. And the next day it's the same. And so in a circle, day after day. Sometimes I feel like I'm a character in Groundhog Day and it never ends. Since I went on maternity leave, depression has become my constant companion. Every day the same thing happens, the same thing - it can go crazy. I became irritable, I break down on loved ones. Decree and depression became synonymous for me. What to do?
For active and purposeful representatives of the skin vector, one of the indispensable attributes of life is novelty. Often such women can be seen in sports or business, there are engineers and technologists among them. Competition, career, technical innovation are the areas of their natural aspiration and interest.
Of course, a woman’s life changes significantly with maternity leave. From the point of view of systemic psychology, the state of the author of the letter cannot be called depression. Negative states in this case are a consequence of the dissatisfaction of desires in the skin vector, primarily novelty. Skinners do not tolerate routine.
At a short distance, the skin peels in this situation partially relieve their deficiencies using the following methods:
- rearrangement in the house;
- changes in appearance;
- active walks with the baby (for maximum mobility, use slings or "kangarushki", this allows you to expand the "geography" of movement);
- active sports at home, and, if possible, in a fitness club.
Widespread online tips for women on maternity leave to overcome depression often include knitting, embroidery and other handicrafts. Dear cutters, these tips are not for you! Such a "boring" occupation can drive any skin on maternity leave into an even greater, so-called depression.
Full realization for each of us is possible only in contact with other people. For a woman with a skin vector, an implementation option may be to open her own small Internet business. Or maybe, traveling with your baby in a sling, you even risk registering as an entrepreneur? Or offer your professional services to customers over the Internet? You decide.
Maternity leave and depression in those who don't feel like a mom
Probably, I shouldn't have given birth at all … I look at other mothers, how they "cluck" and run around with their babies, and I can't understand why I don't feel anything? At first, I was even scared to take my son in my arms. After giving birth, I roared all day long, thinking I shouldn't have decided to give birth and go on maternity leave. My mother and husband helped to overcome depression a little, they are much better at managing the baby than me. But I still don't feel the joy of motherhood. How to deal with maternity depression?
Special conditions after the birth of a child are experienced by women who have a skin-visual ligament of vectors. The fact is that even in the ancient human flock, such a woman did not give birth to children along with the rest of the representatives of her sex, but accompanied men on hunting and war.
Such women today often experience difficulties with conception or independent childbirth. But when the child is still born, the woman faces psychological difficulties when going on maternity leave. Such a mother defines depression in herself for the reason that she does not form, like other women, the notorious maternal instinct.
But this does not mean at all that she will not be able to safely raise the child. It is women with such properties (emotional, sensual) that perfectly realize themselves in the profession of an educator.
Such a woman's relationship with her own child is not built on the basis of the maternal instinct, but on the basis of creating an emotional connection with him. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize the mother, to empathically react to her, and she responds to his emotions. Often their bond becomes strong and stable when the child reaches 3 years of age.
A skin-visual woman needs communication, so do not focus only on the family and the child. Successful options for social realization for you are similar to those described above for the visual vector.
For the overwhelming majority of women, realization in the role of wife and mother is primary. And only for the dermal-visual priority is social realization.
But the volume of the female psyche and desires of a modern woman has grown significantly. Regardless of your vector set, if you feel that you are not fulfilling yourself enough as a mother and wife, use your innate talents to bring them into society. You can learn more about the professional implementation of representatives of various vectors at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
Maternity leave and depression in women seeking meaning in life
He screams all the time, it's just hell. I want to cover my ears and never hear that again. Life turned into a nightmare with maternity leave. Depression sucks me in like a black hole, and I just stop finding any meaning in everything I do. Do I really only exist to wash these endless undershirts and make mixtures? What's the point of this? And when my screaming bundle grows up - will it also live only to pay for food for the next screamer and wash his pants? Sometimes it seems to me that the matter is not in the decree, my depression is fully justified by the meaninglessness of human life as such.
Women with a sound vector can experience real depression on maternity leave. Their most sensitive area is the ear, and their natural need is solitude and concentration.
When caring for a baby, such women can really experience severe pain from a child's cry, since it acts directly on their most sensitive area. And the inability to be alone in silence and focus on your thoughts further enhances bad states.
In addition, any sound engineer, regardless of gender, strives to understand the meaning of life: both his own and all mankind. Aspiring to the metaphysical, the owner of the sound vector often perceives with disdain everything that is related to the physical world. For example, even the needs of your own body: the need to cook and eat something, to earn a living, to dress in something. And a small child seems to embody exactly the aspects of physical existence: a newborn can only eat, drink, breathe and sleep.
If a sound woman does not realize her aspirations for knowing herself, does not find application for herself in useful social activity, then she accumulates heavy sound voids and shortages when going on maternity leave. Depression can worsen to very severe conditions. Doctors often prescribe antidepressants or other drugs in such situations, sometimes even incompatible with breastfeeding.
The sound psyche has the largest volume, so it is currently not filled with any previous sublimants (religion, esotericism, interest in science). But there is a way out of depression. The sound engineer can fill his shortcomings through understanding the structure of the human psyche, the exact knowledge about this is revealed in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Hear what Tatiana has to say about her training experience:
On the difference in the properties of mother and child
You can often come across stories that women determine depression on maternity leave in a situation when the innate properties and characteristics of the child conflict with the mental properties of the mother.
Unfortunately, without systemic knowledge it is impossible to understand this, and as a result, conflicts arise in the family and serious distortions in raising a child.
For example, a mobile and active mother with a skin vector is constantly annoyed by the slowness and sluggishness of her baby, the owner of the anal vector. And clean and tidy women with an anal vector are horrified when their skin fidget makes a mess in the whole house.
It is possible to understand and resolve any contradictions of this kind using the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Many women left feedback on how happy their motherhood became after the training:
Also, from the very first free online lectures, you will begin to realize the causes of any of your bad conditions and you will receive a real tool in order to get rid of any, the most severe form of depression:
Realizing and realizing your natural properties will be the ticket to a happy life and the key to successful motherhood. Register for free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan using the link.
