Thank you for having me
Constant searches, mental rushes and questions remained unanswered, they only tortured me. It is so important for me not to make a mistake, not to believe, but to know. Know for sure: “Why is this all? What is the meaning of my life?"
Despite the permanent loneliness, how good it is that I have Me! It's so nice to talk with the smartest person who will understand me from half a thought, without interfering with my internal dialogue, without interrupting with empty unnecessary words.
I cannot stand the verbiage of this gray mass, I cannot hear the empty chatter of these stupid people. What are they talking about? About the price of buckwheat? Where to get cheaper? How do I pay bills? What news and what would I do if I were Putin? Why do they exist? To litter the universe with unnecessary biomass? What a total uselessness!
I would kill! How can you be so dumb? Why don't they hear what I am saying and understand my ideas? It is me! I went to the mirror - and there, thank God, I am!
How tired I am. I'm tired of listening to these useless words and sounds …
I and he
I should shave and wash my body. I just forgot that my body is also I. And what is that rumbling in my stomach? Oh yeah, I forgot I hadn't eaten in 24 hours. Perhaps I will go to the supermarket and buy him milk and bread, this body, so that it does not interfere with my thinking with my rumbling, because I live in it.
And in general, this body got sick. Why should I look after him? Why am I wearing it, this dead shell that keeps me and my mind within the social framework, preventing my nature from exploding like a big explosion?
Singularity, black holes, antimatter, I … What or Who is behind this? Who is the Creator? And what is his plan? What is the meaning of my existence? What power has created this infinity … and Me?
No, little fellows, your answer "god" does not suit me. Everything is too simple: read it - believe it. How can you stupidly not distinguish and confuse the concepts of faith and religion?
All my life I have been looking for Him in various philosophies, esoterics and religions. Have not found. It is not there. Or maybe there is no God at all? Is this world just the result of evolution or, in general, an illusion? But then who is the author of this illusion?
I know He is. But these constant searches, mental rushes and questions remained unanswered, they only tortured me. It is so important for me not to make a mistake, not to believe, but to know. Know for sure: “Why is this all? What is the meaning of my life?"
Me and They
And so I walk through the supermarket in dark glasses and headphones and think, think. And why are they looking at me ?! This light of yours dazzles, and your empty eyes enrage, and the questions in them: how to water the cactus and what to buy for the child? I do not understand how you can hear the eternal cry of children? Perhaps I will make my Rammstein louder in my ears … I feel better.
And in general, why breed this gray stupid mass? Whether it is me. In World of Warkraft, I pumped my mage right up to level 90, I'm a genius! This is what I will do all night. My favorite night, when my ears will rest from your empty and loud sounds. And no one will stop me from thinking my thoughts and brilliant ideas.
I'll go to bed at seven in the morning. Then, when you just wake up, in order to drag on your meaningless existence. As for me - it's better to sleep, sleep for days. So you forget and rest from this continuous dialogue with yourself, you don't look for answers, you don't think, you sleep … Until someone abnormal wakes me up at 17 o'clock in the morning.
They are not allowed to sleep or live! Do they not know that I am dreaming, I am!
What's the point?
And so every day: the same, empty, depressing day that did not find meaning. It is really unbearably difficult to search all your life and not find, to look at the stars and ask new questions, which, not finding an answer, drag you into even greater depression.
“What is the meaning of this meaningless life? Who am I? And why am I here?"
For ages to search desperately and not to find. And no sublimants, no alcohol or drugs, will drown this pain from the emptiness of existence.
Where can you find the answers to all these questions that such a person asks? And who is he really?
Who am I"?
It is the person with such questions that Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology calls the honorary name "sound engineer".
What lump is behind this word? What is a sound vector? We are each born with our own set of psychological desires and properties, which is called a vector.
The sound vector is the most powerful abstract intelligence and craving for knowledge. This is the desire to comprehend, to search for the essence and self, dominant over all other needs, the desire to cognize the psychic and spiritual, the search for the root cause.
In the case of non-realization, it is the sound engineer who experiences the greatest suffering and lack. Sound suffers incomparably more than other vectors. When a sound engineer does not realize himself and does not fill his lacks (does not know), then he has a false feeling of total loneliness, which leads to severe depression and even suicide attempts.
Often in a bad state, in order to relieve stress and not think, the sound people run away from themselves into drugs and alcohol, finishing themselves off with heavy music. After all, they have a special, sensitive ear - it perceives the slightest sound vibrations. It is very sensitive to the words and meanings behind them. And when it is very loud, when there is a cry, noise, falsetto, then we close ourselves, defend ourselves. We stop listening and hearing. So, and understand.
Genius?
So we gradually move away from people, from society, and sometimes from life. Obsessing over ourselves, feeling that our thoughts are understandable only to us, and not to these "noisy and stupid" people, we begin to feel especially acutely our loneliness and difference from others. This is how the feeling of our own false genius and chosenness settles in us. So we lose what we are always looking for - the Meaning.
Yes, we are geniuses in potential, it is given to us by nature. Yes, this is our most powerful intellect. Yes, we are great scientists, genius poets, engineers and musicians (perfect pitch - only for a sound engineer). Revolutionaries, surgeons and philosophers. Programmers, psychiatrists, and spiritual leaders. Yes, we are geniuses, in potential. And in fact? Today, more and more often - sufferers, social maladapters, playing day and night in computer games "freaks", degenerates.
Closing ourselves, not hearing or understanding others, locking ourselves inside our cranium only on our own thoughts and suffering from a lack of meaning, incomprehensibility and loneliness, we begin to hate others. We lose our ability to feel and empathize with them. They gradually disappear from our lives. They are not. And among this crowd of thousands, we feel unbearable loneliness, finding ourselves in the bottomless destructive black hole of our own egocentrism - the antimatter of our existence, which prevents us from realizing our desires.
Do we have a chance to get out of our own black hole?
The desire for knowledge and the lack of a modern sound engineer are growing rapidly. Our voids remain unfilled, forming a feeling of dissatisfaction with life and negative states. Science, religion, poetry, literature, programming can no longer satisfy our lack. They give hope only at the first moment. But not the answers. They take time, pushing us in the wrong direction, leading to another depression and deadlock.
Music is only temporary anesthesia. We plug our ears from the outside world with headphones, killing neural connections with decibels. Even rock, hard rock, is no longer able to drown out our silent cry: "What's the point?" It makes no sense. "Musical anesthesia" does not last long. And we start looking for new "painkillers". We also yearn for a change of state. We dream of expanding consciousness, going beyond it in order to learn the essence, find answers.
Alcohol disinhibits the cerebral cortex and gives a short-term relief of tension, but it is pure water (more precisely, pure alcohol) depressant, leading only to aggravation of the hopeless state and disastrous consequences. Nothing will stop the sound engineer, who has lost all hope of finding meaning and wants to end this pain by all means.
Drugs. “Hurray, I found it! Finally a thrill! How my brain works! What ideas I have! Hey mass, do you hear my ideas ?! Why are you all laughing? I almost knew! Let's get one more trip! "Fast" how much? And where can you get it? Give a dose !!! I fly…"
Landing after such a flight is emergency at best. But mostly - right through. From life. Finally, I will throw off this tortured body, having saved myself from unbearable suffering, and there I will find God, and maybe myself.
Find yourself
What pleases others does not fill the sound system. He simply does not understand, does not know others. And at the same time, he most of all needs others to get out of self-centeredness. After understanding others, he begins to understand himself. And from people it no longer requires what they do not have, what they do not know how, what they are not given by nature.
By studying the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, recognizing others by vectors, and therefore by their inner true properties and desires, according to the soul, and not by external signs, the sound engineer reveals the structure of his own psyche and the psyche of another person. He begins to understand and feel others as himself, getting rid of hostility and hatred towards people and the world. For the first time, he becomes able to perceive the psychic of another in himself as his own. And he justifies not only himself with his heart, but all of humanity. Knowing the hidden unconscious, plunging into himself, the sound engineer discovers in himself not his lonely "I", but the whole species.
It's filling up! It is an indescribable feeling of joy of recognition, deep understanding and comprehension of the meaning of the existence of the human species. Awareness of the world outlook and perception of people with different vectors, their specific tasks levels out hostility and isolation.
How wonderful it is to stop feeling this pain, for the first time to wake up with joy and smile, knowing that You are not here in vain. That You are part of the common. Observe and understand the laws of development, get answers to asked and unasked questions, and, most importantly, find out what to do with this new self and where to go with it.
Start getting to know yourself at the introductory nightly online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register here and now!
