Savages, not children! We are not afraid of kindergarten
Refusing to place a child in kindergarten, parents are guided by a variety of thoughts and beliefs. Parents are calmer when the child is in front of their eyes - it seems to them that they are in control of the situation. What does the refusal to send a child to kindergarten lead to?
- Not! - said Nastya cut off. - Government education - what could be worse? Parents should take care of the child before school, and you should not shift your responsibility to other people's aunts. When he goes to school, there is no way to go anywhere. In the meantime, he is small, what should he do in kindergarten if he has a wonderful grandmother ?! Yes, and I can postpone my work.
Refusing to place a child in a kindergarten, parents are guided by a variety of thoughts and beliefs: “My baby is so defenseless, vulnerable, he will not survive without mom-dad. And the group will be soooo kids! They will beat and offend, take away toys and call names. And the educators! Either they shout, or in winter they open the window - and that's it, the child has a nervous breakdown and pneumonia is provided. Well, what good can a child learn there at all?"
At this moment, concerned parents do not at all think that their conclusions are momentary and dictated by a heart blind from love. And also frank parental egoism, because parents are calmer when the child is in front of their eyes: it seems to them that they are in control of the situation.
What does the refusal to send a child to kindergarten lead to? Let's answer this question from the standpoint of the latest achievements in the field of psychology.
So why is it needed, this kindergarten?
An urgent task that the kindergarten solves is preparing the child for life. Why? Because life is unthinkable without social interaction.
Children need to master the skills of communication, building relationships with other people, learn to reckon with their personalities and find their own niche in the team. The more successfully the child masters these skills, the easier it will be in the future for him to realize himself in society. This means that the happier he will be.
And no matter how hard you try, no parent or nanny can teach a child. A child can learn this only through personal experience of interaction with other children and the collective as a whole.
We all come from … a cave
All children, as soon as they are born, already have a certain set of vectors, which will further determine their actions, a tendency to a certain type of activity, behavior, way of thinking, etc.
In any stable group (for the first time in kindergarten), children try on various roles, feeling for and developing their strengths and learning how to compensate for weaknesses. They seek and find their place in the group, learn to defend their interests and take into account the interests of others. As a result, a clear hierarchy is formed.
If children under three years old do not particularly need a team, then already at three years old (plus or minus six months) the situation changes. Take a look and see that your child is becoming more independent and ready to interact with the world around him.
In the younger group of the kindergarten, one can observe how gradually, at first ineptly, and then more and more accurately, children begin to interact with each other. How relationships within the team gradually begin to take shape in accordance with the natural characteristics of each participant. How likes and dislikes begin to manifest.
And what is interesting - no one teaches them this! This does not mean the proclamation of rules of conduct such as "you cannot beat girls" or "you cannot take someone else's." Such phrases can only teach the observance of external rules of decency, and even then not always. The point is that relations in the team begin to take shape, at first glance, as if spontaneously.
Nobody tells children that Vanya is your leader, you must recognize his authority and follow him. And Sasha is an introverted quiet man, you can sit with him in a dark corner and entrust the biggest secret. Or that Lisa is the most beautiful girl, you need to earn her attention. Children decide this for themselves and suddenly look up to Vanya, do not notice Sasha and begin to make friends with Lisa. These decisions are based on natural ranking.
At the same time, the communication skills acquired in kindergarten will remain with the child forever and in the future will help to adapt at school and successfully move into adulthood. If there are difficulties in adaptation, a psychologist in kindergarten will help to cope with them, only by correctly recognizing the causes of the problem, which are hidden in the peculiarities of the psyche.
He will cry there …
Perhaps at the beginning. The child must somehow react to the unfamiliar environment. Tears are a lethal weapon! However, not every child will cry. For example, it is worth saying a few words about those children who find it easiest and those who will find it most difficult to adapt to the new way of life. A psychologist in kindergarten is unlikely to explain this to you. But systemic thinking will help you figure out why some children easily adapt to a new environment, while for others it happens through tears.
There will be no difficulties with getting used to kindergarten for a child with a urethral vector. This is the same child who can easily lead the rest without visible effort. For him there are no barriers, he is not burdened by the internal need to obey the rules. He installs them himself. There are very few such children by nature, no more than 5%. But if your baby is like that, do not worry, he will not cry.
In the open spaces of the kindergarten, the urethral child will have a place to turn around. Give him to a large group, a large team will contribute to the development of his innate abilities.
It is also easy for a skin child to adapt to new conditions. He can even be carried away by this: the fact that there will be new toys in the kindergarten, new interesting kids, new slides and so on. The only difficulty that can arise with him is jealousy. Do not send a skin baby to kindergarten at the same time as the birth of a second child, for example. He will take it unequivocally: mom chose another, and gave him away, she will be very jealous.
The same with an anal child: he can perceive it as a betrayal and take offense. Moreover, it is most difficult for him to adapt to the new landscape. New surroundings, new people - all this is a great stress for him. In this situation, the correct position of the mother is very important: she should push him towards the team, explain what and how is happening in the kindergarten, so that the child gets used to it faster. And although the addiction period can be delayed, with the right attitude, very soon your anal baby will make friends in kindergarten and will go there with joy.
And so on … each of the eight vectors has its own specifics.
Common is the need for support from the mother. A psychologist in kindergarten must also understand the peculiarities of the psyche of children. A child should feel his safety - only in such conditions can he develop safely. At first, he is ready to stay in kindergarten only for an hour and only with his mother. Later, when he gets used to it and gets used to the caregivers and other children, he will easily stay there all day and even refuse to leave.
Going through this adaptation phase and moving on to the next, as your baby hones her teamwork skills, is a challenge for some mothers, but always doable.
Be calm and remember one important thing: your baby will not be a child all his life. Sooner or later he will grow up, go on to study and work. Willy-nilly, he will be forced to communicate with people. Without the necessary skills for this, it will be very difficult for him: imagine what hell it will be for him to interact with others and enter into relationships.
Our children should be happy, and it is the responsibility of parents to lay the foundation for this.
You will learn more about the peculiarities of the psyche of children with a different vector set, as well as about the peculiarities of their upbringing, already at the introductory free lectures "System-vector psychology".
