"Who am I?" - a question that leads to a dead end
Each is something special. At Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" there is even a suitable concept for you to explain your inner structure: a sound vector, one of eight, endowed with the strongest desires. The desire to understand yourself …
Who am I? What do you mean by this question? What do you call yourself? You have a name, but it is nothing more than an empty, meaningless sound. Define, name yourself, what you already have a bad idea of. What are you?
You see yourself in the mirror every day, but what you see there is not the answer. Every day you go to work, say hello to colleagues, talk to friends. You bring something to this world, and the world brings something to you. What do you mean by the question "Who am I?" The outside world or the inside?
As if everything around, imposed from the outside, inaccurately reflects what is happening inside, when at times you experience sensations coming from nowhere. It happens that a sharp, vivid emotion will overwhelm for no reason, for no reason, and sometimes, on the contrary, palms involuntarily reach the temples in order to squeeze them and not feel dull melancholy.
Do you want to know where all this comes from? After all, a person is more than a reflection in a mirror. Only nobody knows what exactly.
No answer
Mediocrity reigns around. You tried to change the environment, place of residence, or at least dreamed about it. But in vain. People are the same everywhere - they don't understand anything.
Therefore, the only source from where you can fish out the scanty meaning of existence is yourself. Overtaking this and many other questions about the cranium like a ball, you hear blows against the walls - the answers. Pseudo-answers - because they are sorely lacking, and all the same question begins to haunt you again.
You want to understand how you came to be, where the road called "life" will lead you. But this requires a coordinate system, relative to which you define yourself, and this is where the difficulty arises.
Who am I? A man under a transparent shell. With this question, you separate yourself into a separate structure, separate from others. You are a separate being, unique. After all, if there is no answer in this world, then there is nothing like you. There is nothing that resonates with you.
You ask such a question in the Universe where only your self exists and there is simply no place for anything else. Therefore, you cannot answer. Who are you - for whom? For yourself? Nobody, perhaps. For yourself, you are this very question without an answer. One big question mark, unfinished sentence.
Other people - who are they?
Now let's say that you made a tiny hole in a thick curtain that wraps you from head to toe like a cloak. And you look into it as through a peephole. You watch the crowd, but you find nothing interesting.
Most people never ask or think about existential questions in their lives. They are so absorbed in their usual, everyday affairs that it is simply impossible for you to find a point of contact with them. Even if there is something in common between you. And God forbid, this will be the same damn question. And everything else does not interest you.
But sometimes there are people like you. Empty on the inside, with a dead look on the outside. You always have something to be silent about. Listen to the silence between each other and catch how one question for two breaks you from the inside and tears you, how your stomach twists and your bones crunch. You understand each other, but that doesn't make it any easier, only worse.
But is there anyone who will catch your attention, give you the opportunity to concentrate and not look away from the hole in the canvas?..
Here she walks along the street - she does not walk, but she walks, the sound of heels is heard - a woman, bright, seductive, exuding her aura for kilometers around. She is visible from afar for all men. Everyone except you.
Glances are attracted to her completely mechanically, instinctively. All looks, but not yours. She behaves at ease with everyone, and she would talk to you as if nothing had happened. As if she does not realize that everyone sees only her. Everyone but you. You have your own world, and the image of a woman, especially such, is superfluous there.
Why would you pay attention to her?
It is easier to understand her, to look inside her than to any other, because you involuntarily focus your focus and attention on her. If, of course, you look through the peephole, and not through the wall.
“She is not like me - she is different” - that is what is important to understand. Thus, at last, an axis will be built on which one can grasp the answer.
So who is she?
Refined, airy, with an open look, as if looking into the soul and letting through itself. Graceful and light as a feather. Often such people know how to sing, play the piano or the guitar, and maybe show themselves in the theater. They know how to feel, capture the emotions around, empathize with other people's fates.
How does she do it and how sincere is she in such behavior? Inside her, a hurricane of feelings really rages, overwhelming her head. She worries not only for herself - for everyone, and with everyone she has a thread of spiritual connection. A slight smile shines on her face. Expressive, open eyes shine, and most importantly - a voice. It is ringing, melodic and excited. And all this is the answer to the question - “Who is she? What lives on it?"
Why is it important
It is interesting to read about it, but even more entertaining to feel it live. Feel with every cell what it is - a different person. The question that lives on you helps in this, and for this it is needed.
The same exercise can be done with everyone. Think for a moment, who is he? Gradually, step by step, one by one, the puzzles of different people will form a whole complete picture, from which you can finally understand who you are. After all, no matter how you build a wall separating you from all of them, it cannot be denied that you were born and grew up, formed under the influence of the people around you. And you keep changing right now.
Understanding is born only in comparison. You have to put something other than yourself in the field of vision. On this basis, people like you have known this world and themselves for thousands of years. The laws of motion of bodies - from stars to atoms, the structure of living organisms - from protozoa and cells to monkeys, our closest ancestors. But now it's a different level. You need to take the most complex systems, equal to you. People.
Your question is not accidental
Each is something special. At Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" there is even a suitable concept for you to explain your inner structure: a sound vector, one of eight, endowed with the strongest desires. The desire to understand yourself. And the impossibility to do this is not even disappointing - it is devastating. It becomes unbearably difficult to think about something other than oneself when nothing interests, does not capture, does not give a feeling of happiness, does not answer questions.
It is so painful to constantly sort out philosophical currents, sciences and pseudosciences, spiritual practices and great quotes and over and over again understand that all this is not the same. Less and less you want to keep digging in the same direction. The past experience shows: wherever you go, only emptiness awaits you. Instead of a book on the shelf, you find a cover without pages inside. And in the end, you are lost in conjecture, to whom or what to turn to …
But the answer is actually closer than you think. Any sound engineer is able to find out who he is, adding up his understanding of himself from the states of others, people who are not like him.
What would you prefer: continue to run into dead ends or still take the card? Everyone can be understood truly, sincerely. What for? To understand this world, these people, means to understand oneself.
