He and she. Love with the sign of infinity
Many topics have been discussed. And they are finite. He says that it seems to me, but does not offer anything new. I want more, but not more. We have covered so much that there is nothing left. Maybe something was missing from everyday life? Maybe we should still live like everyone else?
The world changes only at the request of a woman
(Yuri Burlan)
The front door slammed. No, you need to distract yourself. For example, bake bread. And I dip my hands in flour, pouring water … Well, okay, I was always not what I wanted. And I never dreamed of children, and I didn't get to know men just so that "oh". He … too. Didn't really fit into the usual framework of a great guy. I did not chase after money, did not add to the list of the musketeer. Of course, they asked me more, but they didn’t care about these demands. Only thanks to Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology I already understand why.
He asked: is love for us or for people?
As I stir the dough, I remember all these grins and questions.
"You already live on the Internet, have you decided to arrange a virtual groom for yourself there?"
"Why did you correspond only for 2 years, why not 22?"
"Aren't you afraid that you are too smart for him?"
They didn’t know that I was already sure of everything. Correspondence then was all that I lived for. It was all for the sake of which it was worth enduring the delirium that was happening around me. And for him our conversations were like that too.
We didn't dare. We were afraid that we would lose our subjective objectivity. But I insisted and we met. We looked at each other for a long time at a table in a cafe, hardly realizing the understanding that had befallen us. It's forever. I have no doubts about that understanding even now. Rewind back time, I would feel the same way. But something has changed. It seems we are.
He said he was leaving. We had a fight
It was not possible to transfer that correspondence to reality in full. It didn't work out so frankly, tenderly, and with concentration. Nearby were distracted by everyday things, attraction, some basic needs. Conversation out loud did not contain what the letters carried on the monitor screen. Instead of a touch of souls, we started quarreling over wallpaper.
In memory of what we experienced at a distance with such delight and happiness, we often correspond from neighboring rooms, in the silence of a shared apartment. But there is no such enthusiasm. The parents laugh. And now it hurts the most. I roll the bun out furiously.
He packed his things and went out
This is our balance now. And do not care about others, it would seem. We owe nothing to anyone. But - it hurts. Maybe I really don't understand something? Their words have nothing to do with us. Will they even understand what we are talking about? We have thoughts, meanings and images. Flowing from Kandinsky's paintings directly into Russian nature, shown by Tarkovsky. Questions of life raised by Plato and continued in the best works of German philosophy. After all, the issues of building dialogues in advertising and their customer management. Never mind.
Another thing is important - mutual feeling … how will my thought respond to him? And how will I feel this response? Like a wave on the shore. What thought will he give me in response to my question? How will I feel? He's smarter. And what will WE decide in the end?
I thought
Gradually, such mutual feelings became less. As if we are working them out so that we do not return to them again. Many topics have been discussed. And they are finite. He says that it seems to me, but does not offer anything new. I want more, but not more. We have covered so much that there is nothing left. Maybe something was missing from everyday life? Maybe we should still live like everyone else? And I threw myself into this life, thinking that we will get there what we are looking for. What was lost, what united us, there was something else. Marriages, family visits, formalities, jam on the dough. And emptiness.
Do I need to return it now?
What was, no longer exists. But I'm still with him forever. How to live with it now? We've always been the same. Even children were asked the same questions to adults. And not that they were very eager to achieve something in this hectic world. It seemed that he was not for us. Separately it seemed. For everybody.
And when I read his first question in the chat: "Why don't you like getting up in the morning?" - (how did he know ?!), for the first time I wanted to change this and strive for something. A dim light is applied to the cake in the oven. There is an hour of waiting ahead. Before him, I have never baked in my life. Did not want.
How to live on?
If you imagine that he will not be, then I will not be either. But with him it became unbearable. What to do next? Everything exhausted itself and returned there, at the moment before we met. I began to withdraw, he again listened to music for days.
I sat down at the computer and began to search. Relationships between two, intellectuals, divorces, dating, psychology of relationships … sound relationships. Sound vector. Sound specialists. People looking for something outside this world. People who have a special task and a special mindset for solving this task. "Who are we? What are we? Why are we here? " - sound questions. We often asked this question to each other. We didn’t find any answers. But we haven’t decided anything on this score. It remained open, although the answers have been sorted out.
A man and a woman with a sound vector can create eternity and infinity in a relationship. Create and touch them. This is what we felt when we met. Eternity is what is forever. It's us … if we're together.
Can two universes merge?
The role of people with a sound vector is the awareness of the other in themselves. This means that the awareness of it is in me, and vice versa. Feel not only his thoughts, but also desires. Like their own. This is more than waves on the shore. This is a merger. Can we exchange our desires like bodies in a movie? Can you feel it as yourself, to the end, completely? To "glue" souls?
Small at first, then more. To recognize the most obvious, familiar, everyday, to determine why and why he does this. For example, why does he constantly wash all the cups in the house from germs. And there is no fear, only unconditional trust. And in other, more hidden motives. Those in which he does not admit to himself. Oh, that will be interesting. Or maybe he will be able to know more than me? If only he will …
And it will be a real mutual feeling. Not just my impression of some of his thoughts. Which, perhaps, is not his at all? This is different. In many degrees a greater sense of his real heart's motives. And this means, dissolving, to be with him again and find the universe.
The front door slammed
He walked into the kitchen in a jacket: “I can't. I can't do it without our conversations. The things were left at the door, the smell of pastries was in the kitchen. He, as always, on time, when I was already desperate to wait. We sat down at the table.
I have done this before. Yes, he wrote to me first. But I continued. She consoled, cared, worried. She asked and helped, looked for new topics and carried away first of all with her thoughts, stories, even prepared in advance. And he shared in return. And sometimes not immediately. At first he repeated after me, but then he moved on, spoke from himself. To help, support, be a support.
I will begin this sound cognition. It is not enough to seek eternity, you must first give it away a little from yourself. I want to learn to understand you as myself, and then our conversations will be the way we dreamed about, I promise.
Spiritual ties begin with paired relationships
(Yuri Burlan)
