Love to the grave or suffering? School of Mature Senses
Why can't love be without pain? Or maybe, but for some reason you don't know how to love like that? What prevents you from enjoying your relationship? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan knows the answer to these questions …
Love rolls like a tsunami You are already afraid of her powerful pressure, destroying the usual established order of life. She breaks everything that is established and unshakable in your life. And again nights without sleep, hot dreams of kisses and hugs, the happiness of shared feelings and at the same time pain. Pain when a loved one is not around. The pain that happiness simply cannot happen to you, from self-doubt. The pain of a possible loss, so real, as if the loss had already happened.
Why can't love be without pain? Or maybe, but for some reason you don't know how to love like that? What prevents you from enjoying your relationship? System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan knows the answer to these questions.
One for life
Lera fell in love more than once in her life. Each time it seemed to her that it was forever. Finally, she met him, the one, the only one with whom she can live her whole life in perfect harmony. Sometimes the men reciprocated her, sometimes not. But in any case, her every journey into love became a living hell for her.
Firstly, she could not live in peace for a minute without the object of her adoration. Only next to him did she experience peace of mind and happiness. Especially when he said he loved her or admired her. But as soon as he went beyond the threshold, thousands of needles stuck into her heart, and it ached and ached with a bad feeling: “What if something happens to him and I lose him? What if he is deceiving me, and I mean nothing to him? No, he never gave a reason, but this did not alleviate Lerino's condition in the least.
Secondly, she was not sure that she was worthy of such happiness. Why love her? What did he find in her? She knew that there is happiness - it cannot but be, but she could not even admit that happiness is possible for her. She knew that she had never in her life managed to keep a man next to her, although each time she entered into a relationship as if they were the last and only ones in her life.
She was hysterical and demanded that the man confirm every time that he loved her and, of course, prove it by action. "Love me! Entertain me! Call me! Be by my side 24 hours a day! Only then will I be happy and calm! Or suffer with a sense of guilt that I am unhappy next to you! " This was the message of her communication with the men whom she "loved". This is what she consciously or unconsciously broadcast to the world. No wonder they were leaving her. Love to the grave did not work.
She would like to understand why this happens, but she could not, and therefore the periods of forced loneliness became longer and longer - the pain accumulated, the fear of failing new relationships became stronger and stronger. Until Lera finally put an end to her personal life: "Well, I'm not capable, then!"
Just what a lonely life?
Love as the meaning of life
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan is the most reliable compass in such cases. It shows what is happening to the person and why. All our desires and actions arising from them are conditioned by the types of psychic, or vectors. There are eight vectors in total.
There are people who cannot live without love. Life without love has no meaning for them. Only this strong feeling can give color to life, and without it they yearn and miss, as if they do not live. These are people with a visual vector, who have tremendous emotional potential, at the peak of which they experience love and get the greatest pleasure from it in life.
When love comes into their lives, they feel completely happy, fulfilled. At first, falling in love makes the world fabulously beautiful. They look at the object of their love through rose-colored glasses - everything in it is admirable. It seems that this bliss will never end. But for some reason, very often the euphoria of love does not develop into a stable, long and happy relationship. It seemed that this is love to the grave, but it turned out that everything turned into only suffering. Why is this happening?
Fear and love addiction
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that the emotional amplitude of the visual vector is large, and at its lowest point there are longing and fear. If the senses of a visual person were not developed in childhood, or developed feelings do not receive the necessary implementation in adulthood, then any surge of emotions, especially such as falling in love, triggers emotional swings. When the object of love is near, the viewer experiences bliss and euphoria. And when he is not, he falls into longing and fear. He becomes very ill.
He begins to demand that the beloved is always there, show attention and prove his love. This is the only way he feels safe and secure. Very often the spectator achieves this with the help of tantrums, scandals, smashing dishes and even blackmail, threatening to commit suicide if his conditions are not met.
If he does not know how to correctly realize his emotions, then the fear of losing the one he loves can become so great that his rich imagination will constantly paint terrible pictures of losses and partings. He cannot imagine how he can now survive without this person, who has become a real drug for him and is even capable of causing love addiction. The soil is especially favorable for the development of such an addiction if a person also has an anal vector.
Monogamy, self-doubt, and bad experiences
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that anal-visual people are potentially capable of long-term love relationships, because they are monogamous and do not tend to change partners. But this very monogamy, combined with an unrealized visual vector, can play a cruel joke. They will become so attached to their partner that it will be completely impossible for them to decide to break off relations - it is almost like death. Emotional dependence, combined with a habit, attachment to one person, will endlessly prolong even the most hopeless relationship, that is, only prolong the agony.
Self-doubt is also common in people with ano-visual vector ligament. They are indecisive, shy, often because of a tendency to be overweight, they feel that they cannot meet modern beauty standards. They do not believe that happiness is possible for them, which is confirmed by their bad experience. After all, people with an anal vector have a very good memory, are able to remember everything: not only good, but also bad. And they tend to trust their experience. Lera was convinced from experience that she was not able to keep a man, and this constantly served as an obstacle for her to create new relationships.
The myth of the existence of a single half, suitable only for you, especially “warms the soul” of an anal-visual person. It is so romantic and sweet: with a tinge of a certain doom and resignation to fate, to seek and find the one and only one with whom true harmony will develop. By magic, simply because you are meant for each other. But how infantile to expect that the relationship can be predetermined by someone other than the participants themselves. That it is possible, without making mental efforts, to make them long-lasting and happy.
What can really be done in this case in order to love and not suffer? How to deal with your emotions, insecurity and bad experiences?
School of Mature Senses
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that it is extremely important for the viewer to educate feelings. He was born to feel, so his emotions must always "work". He should not dwell only on his states and experiences or on one person who finds it difficult to withstand the waterfall of "love" that the spectator brings down on him.
You need to consciously bring your emotions out. When he feels his desire to receive love and attention, he needs to give this love and attention: to communicate with friends, to help relatives, to sympathize with the one who is even worse at this moment. So the viewer will be able to constantly be in the present moment, live a real life, show real emotions, and not hover in wonderful memories of moments of intimacy with his beloved and not fantasize about the terrible outcome of a relationship so dear to him.
The fear of losing a loved one can be transformed into true love for him. Feel his condition, help in a difficult situation, rejoice in his victories and empathize with failures. This is love, not the endless demands that we often mistake for it. And this is the daily work of the soul, without which nothing will happen by itself.
In this attitude to life - outward - both bad experiences and self-doubt dissolve. The properties of any vector, facing outward, give a new quality of life. You stop being the center of your own Universe and only here you get the ability to be happy.
How to turn your life from the eternal pain of unrequited love into the happiness of being with your loved one? How to open up to new relationships despite bad experiences? For answers, come to the classes on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.
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