Dad can, or a male role in raising a child
For one dad, a meeting at work is always more important than a matinee in kindergarten, while for another it is an excuse to put on a suit and take a camera with you. What is the reason for such a different attitude of fathers to their own children? Why is the role of dad for some men reduced to the material support of the child? What are the consequences of such upbringing for the child? Is it possible to influence the situation and bring fathers and children closer together?
Not all dads are eager to spend time with the child, help mom take care of him, play a ball with him when he grows up, read books or teach him how to take pictures. For one dad, a meeting at work is always more important than a matinee in kindergarten, while for another it is an excuse to put on a suit and take a camera with you. What is the reason for such a different attitude of fathers to their own children? Why is the role of dad for some men reduced to the material support of the child? What are the consequences of such upbringing for the child? Is it possible to influence the situation and bring fathers and children closer together?
The true role of a man in raising a child becomes clear at the training System-vector psychology. We will learn the differences between male and female psyche and the most important thing for the development of a child. Then it becomes clear what needs to be done so that the baby grows up a happy and wealthy person. And what does mom do for this, and what does dad do.
Different dads are needed, different dads are important
Only dads with an anal vector are involved in raising children with enthusiasm. This is due to their innate psychological properties. Family for such a man is the main value. The interests of loved ones are a priority for him. Such a father loves to teach his child something, while showing amazing patience, consistency and perseverance. At the same time, it is important for him to feel the recognition of his own authority in the eyes of his children and wife, it is important to hear words of gratitude for what he does for them.
Dads with a visual vector can deal with an already grown child, when a productive dialogue is already possible with him. Communication, exchange of emotions, worries, impressions are always perceived with pleasure and resonates with the visual dad. He always perceives any events in the child's life quite sharply, taking all the baby's experiences to heart.
However, if the dad is a representative of other vectors, raising children is not part of his desires. He was not created for this by nature.
For example, a man with a skin vector always prioritizes material and social status. He is preoccupied with a career, financial support for his family, he shows his love for children with comfortable and spacious housing, a good car, a variety of food, clothes, toys, travel and entertainment.
His memory will not retain information that is unnecessary for him, such as the name of the teacher or the birthdays of the child's friends. For him, a matinee in the garden is not a reason to postpone a business meeting, and after work, he would rather look through work mail and plan a schedule for tomorrow than read a book to his child.
Dad with a sound vector is the most difficult for a child. He can hardly bear a child's cry, like any other noise. He appreciates silence and solitude, as these are necessary conditions in order to concentrate on his activities. This will not prevent him from sometimes spending time with the child if the state of the sound vector is balanced.
If the sound dad is on the verge of depression, if he suffers from a feeling of lack of meaning in life, then he may not show any interest in any external events. He is often immersed in himself and reacts negatively and even coldly when his privacy is violated.
The entire spectrum of desires of the representative of the sound vector lies outside the material world, its highest value is the meaningfulness of life, the knowledge of the highest goal, the very essence of everything that happens around. And the upbringing of children does not fit into his coordinate system.
All this in no way means that fathers without an anal and visual vector do not love and value their children. Not at all. Every man was created by nature in order to become a father and raise his children. And each of them shows his affection, but each in his own way, according to his innate psychological properties.
Family safety guarantee
Whatever vectors a man possesses, in any case he is a source of a sense of security and safety for his family. First of all for a woman.
In order for a man to become such a guarantor of security, he must himself stand firmly on his feet, take place in life. Find your place in society, be a sought-after employee or specialist, a self-confident person. Only in this case will he be able to convey a sense of confidence in the future to his woman. By loving her, he will take care of her, providing for her and the child. Then she, in turn, will be able to provide a sense of security and safety to children and thereby form the basis for their full psychological development.
We are talking about a subconscious feeling - it may be present in the most difficult life situations and it may not be in the most wealthy and at first glance successful families. We sometimes call it the feeling of a secure shoulder, confidence in the future, peace of mind, and so on.
Thus, the father is needed first of all by the mother, he influences the child through the mother: he ensures her safety, balancing her condition and thereby maintaining a sense of security and safety for the child.
But often mothers, out of ignorance of the psychological nature of their partners, begin to make claims, forcing the husband to take care of the child. They take fathers as an example - the owners of the anal vector, who are happy to take care of children. A conflict is brewing. Relationships deteriorate. The woman's sense of security is lost - as a result, the child also loses this feeling.
Of course, he begins to behave worse, to attract attention, to demand by any means the lost sense of security from his mother. In babies, this manifests itself in elementary ways: screaming, whims, bad sleep, anxiety. For older children - disobedience, defiant behavior, antics, unwillingness to learn, hooliganism.
Such changes continue to be blamed on the man who, according to his wife, did not devote enough time and energy to raising a child. The situation is getting worse.
In this case, it is precisely false expectations and ignorance in matters of psychology that can destroy the family and affect the development of the child.
How to change the situation
Understanding breeds acceptance. Knowledge of the training System-vector psychology makes it possible to think deeper and see the whole situation from the outside. Understand the role of each parent in the development of the child's personality and know exactly how to create a comfortable relationship for each.
For example, only systemic thinking allows us to accept the fact that until the father with the sound vector finishes his work, he will think only about her. He will become irritated and nervous if the children try to "cheer him up." And - no, he does not want to eat or sleep until there is a result. And if we take everything and go for a walk, providing him with conditions for concentration, then he will greet us with a smile.
When there is no irritation with her husband, when mom is able to explain to the children that dad loves us all and HOW does he do it, when the children do not feel her resentment towards her husband - then everything changes.
Only then does a man not get annoyed with children, he is not enraged by the sawing wife, he is attracted to the desired woman and, as a result, to his beloved children.
Yes, he will not turn into an anal father if he is dermal. He will not radically change and will not go out with the children three times a week, but he will spend more time with them. And he will perform his role as a father perfectly, since any man is born for this role. It's just that each of them plays it in their own way well.
Raising a child is the task of a woman, as nature intended. You can do this with difficulty, languishing under the weight of resentment, anger and disappointment. And you can easily and with a smile, receiving reliable support from a loved one, fully feeling his protection and care.